


Lance & Keith's Infinite Playlist

by crystallineflowers, waveringriver



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fluff, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, Hurt/Comfort, Klangst With a Happy Ending, M/M, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Slow Burn, The Song Fic No One Asked For, These Boys Are So Pure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-09-30 16:15:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10166885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crystallineflowers/pseuds/crystallineflowers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveringriver/pseuds/waveringriver
Summary: This is the song fic that you never knew you wanted, and that no one ever asked for.Being galaxies away from home is rough. Especially when you're fighting to defend the universe. Thankfully, the paladins have their music to keep them sane. When a return trip to the space mall gives Lance the opportunity for new music, everyone in the castle is subjected to his shenanigans. Keith, in particular, is irate. But music has a way of bringing people together, even supposed rivals. When words fail, will music bring the red and blue paladins together?





	1. Folie à Don't

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written with crystallineflowers on AO3!
> 
> The song fic no one asked for, lmao. This started as a Klance playlist on Spotify, and has since spiraled out of control. Each "chapter" is technically a one-shot focused around a song that my co-author and I have attributed to Keith, Lance, or both. I highly recommend listening to the playlist as you read! 
> 
> Lance & Keith's Infinite Playlist on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/1293903662/playlist/21F7QsgRb4s8EmgXkxy1E3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDITED! We got a lovely beta for this fic, MadiM, and she's been doing great. So now we're in the process of editing and replacing all the chapters we have up so far!

“FINE! Fine! Princess, please return us to the space mall! This gremlin won’t leave me alone!”  
  
If there was one thing Lance was used to, it was the constant nagging of children. He had dealt with his younger cousins often enough to know how that went; when one of them didn’t get what they wanted, they would hound his mamá or papá until they’d finally give in with a sigh of exasperation.  
  
That being said, Princess Allura was the last person he’d expected the nagging to work on – but she heaved a sigh and shifted their course to the space mall without any more fuss.  
  
Lance couldn’t help letting his jaw drop a little. Sure, Pidge had been making their lives miserable for the past few weeks with their near constant pouting, but they were searching for a way to defeat Zarkon, for Pete’s sake! They didn’t have time for this!  
  
_‘Besides,’_ Lance thought, _‘the others don’t even know how Pidge got the money for that video game in the first place. Who knows if that’ll work a second time?’_  
  
Almost as if they could hear his thoughts, Pidge flashed a cheeky grin in his direction. The glee in their eyes was obvious. The blue paladin started, then huffed a quiet laugh. In that moment, Pidge reminded him so much of his nieces and nephews so much that it hurt. He ruffled the youngest paladin’s hair affectionately, grinning at their disgruntled expression.  
  
“Well, there’s no way you’re having all the fun without me,” he said. “I’m coming with you back to the mall!”  
  
“I’m going, too,” Shiro interjected, making both Pidge and Lance jump slightly. Their leader had missed the last adventure due to bonding time with Black, but he certainly hadn’t missed hearing the story. There was no doubt in Lance’s mind that Shiro wanted to make sure they didn’t cause any more trouble.  
  
“Hey, sounds like fun to me,” Lance replied. Pidge nodded in agreement.  
  
“Well, you can count me out,” Keith grumbled from behind the three of them.  
  
“Same for me,” Hunk added, pressing his fingers together. “I really don’t want to end up back at that restaurant…”  
  
“That’s perfectly fine,” Shiro said gently. “You can both stay here with Coran and the princess. It shouldn’t take long to do what we need to do, right, guys?” He ended the sentence in a tone that suggested Lance and Pidge had better agree with him. Pidge nodded vigorously, eager to get moving.

~O~

Within a few hours, they were back at the space mall. Lance still couldn’t quite believe that Pidge had convinced the others into letting them do this, but who was he to complain?  
  
“So, what was it we were looking for?” Shiro asked, bringing Lance out of his thoughts. He found it odd to see Shiro in bright colors, but Coran had insisted they wear disguises so that the rent-a-cop didn’t go after them again.  
  
“Oh, I just need to find an Earth television with the correct inputs and outputs to hook the game system up. Once I see how it works, I can probably figure out how to make them myself. And it shouldn’t be hard to make an adapter for power, since we already have those for our phone chargers,” Pidge replied casually. Lance couldn’t help but feel amazed at how easily this came to Pidge.  
  
Pidge was nearly skipping down the hall, the baggy Altean clothes flapping behind them. Lance had to resist the urge to laugh. Times like this reminded him of how much of a kid Pidge still was… well, how young they all were. He lost himself in thought and nearly ran into Shiro’s back when their leader stopped suddenly. When Lance glanced up, he realized that they had already made it to the Earth shop.  
  
“Welcome!” the alien from before said amiably. He didn’t seem to recognize them, which Lance thought was a good thing.  
  
Pidge bounded up to the merchant, Shiro on their heels. Lance immediately lost interest in the exchange, trusting Pidge to get the information they needed. Lance wandered off to peruse the small shop, quietly chuckling at the many retro Earth items which seemed to have caught the aliens’ attention.  
  
_‘Although, it looks like they’ve got some newer stuff in since last time,’_ he thought, looking at some items which were obviously several decades newer than the rest. He noticed a few CDs lined up against some of the other items. At that moment, a small red album caught his eye.  
  
Lance’s breath hitched in his throat. He’d never admit it, but despite the carefree attitude he took around the others, he was incredibly sentimental. And that little red album flooded his mind with so many memories and emotions, it almost hurt to breathe.  
  
_‘I have to get it,’_ he thought, hastily grabbing the CD and turning to find the others.  
  
Shiro was no longer with Pidge. The latter of the two was currently standing in front of a small selection of televisions, debating with the alien over which would be the best to play their video game on. Lance approached them casually, hiding the album behind his back.  
  
“Hey, Pidge, where’d Shiro run off to?” he asked.  
  
“Over where the home goods are,” Pidge replied, not taking their eyes off the television display.  
  
Lance wandered up and down the aisles of the store until he came to a sudden, surprised stop. Pidge had been right about where Shiro was in the store, of course, but what they didn’t know was that the black paladin was currently wrapped up in a snuggie. And a very large, cozy looking one, at that.  
  
“Um… Shiro?”  
  
The older man started and stared at Lance like a deer in headlights, a flush coloring his cheeks.  
  
“Oh, um, hey, Lance.” He stumbled over his words, clearly embarrassed. “I was just – you know, it gets really cold in the castle someti—”  
  
“Dude, it’s fine,” Lance interjected, choking back a laugh. “If you want, I could even ‘buy’ it for you. Then it’d be ‘my’ snuggie and no one has to know. Besides, I have, like, three at home. Those things are seriously the best.”  
  
“Ah, thank you, Lance,” Shiro replied, visibly relaxing. His eyes flickered down, and then he gave Lance a questioning look. “What have you got there?”  
  
“Oh, this? It’s, uh, it’s just a CD…”He trailed off, suddenly embarrassed. It was silly of him to be so sentimental, he knew. The others wouldn’t be emotional over a simple album. He tightened his grip on the plastic case and took a steadying breath. “If you don’t mind… I’d really like to get this. It would mean a lot to me.”  
  
If Shiro heard the pleading tone in Lance’s voice, he gave no indication. But his intense eyes softened considerably, and he smiled. “Of course, Lance. It’s not a problem at all.”  
  
The blue paladin let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. After that, he and Shiro went to collect Pidge and pay for their purchases. The green paladin was babbling nonstop, alternating from talking about the video game to teasing Lance over the snuggie. They were practically bouncing in place over their excitement. Lance tucked the CD into his jacket pocket, thinking about how he needed to talk to Pidge alone later.

~O~

Lance approached Pidge later that day. They were currently in the process of hotwiring the television to be powered by the castle’s system in the lounge. Hunk was relaxing on one of the semi-circle shaped couches. If it had been anyone else in the room, Lance would have waited to ask, but he knew he could trust Hunk not to judge him.  
  
“Hey, Lance,” Pidge said without looking away from their project. “What’s up?”  
  
“Do you… have a way to transfer music from a CD to a phone? Are Altean computers capable of that?” Lance handed the red album over, trying not to seem shy.  
  
All of the paladins except Shiro had phones on them when Blue rocketed them across the universe, a fact which turned out to be a lifesaver. Lance was more surprised that Keith still had his on him. Though they didn’t work for communication anymore, they served as a way for each of them to listen to music and see their loved ones faces every day. Lance was eternally grateful to be stuck in space with a tech genius like Pidge. He didn’t know what he would have done if they hadn’t figured out a way to charge everyone’s phones using power from the ship.  
  
“That shouldn’t be a problem at – oh I love this CD!” Pidge exclaimed, interrupting themselves as they realized what CD Lance had handed them. “My brother used to listen to it with me.”  
  
“So you can do it?” Lance urged, doing his best to ignore the stab of sadness in his heart. The green paladin grinned, the glint in their eyes sending a shiver down his spine.  
  
“I can do better than that.”  
  
Lance watched as his friend first inserted the CD into their computer and loaded the music, and then plugged Lance’s phone in to transfer it. Then, after handing his phone back, they started typing away at their computer.  
  
“You feel like giving the castle a taste of good music?” they asked. Lance furrowed his brow in confusion.  
  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
“Pidge,” Hunk interjected, “what are you about to do?”  
  
“Oh, I figured out how to tap into the castle’s communication system. So now I can broadcast whatever I want, whenever I want,” they replied, completely ignoring the worried tone in Hunk’s voice. There was the sound of more rapid typing from the green paladin, then suddenly –  
  
_If home is where the heart is_  
  
_Then we’re both just fucked._  
  
_I can’t remember,_  
  
_I can’t remember,_  
  
_And I want it so bad_  
  
_I’d shoot the sunshine into my veins,_  
  
_I can’t remember the good old days._  
__  
The all-too-familiar words began to blast over the castle’s communications system, surprising Lance. After the shock faded, though, he let out a delighted laugh. Beside him, Hunk sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose. He’d always been the rational one in these kind of situations, often having to chase after Lance and Pidge to keep them out of trouble. Unfortunately, his efforts rarely prevailed.  
  
Lance distantly thought that the other inhabitants of the castle would be very confused about the music. Sure enough, within a minute of the music blasting, Lance heard the pounding of footsteps. A worried Allura burst through the door, followed by a very confused Shiro. Lance had to bite back laughter at their leaders’ facial expressions. Honestly, they should have expected something like this eventually.  
  
“What is this noise?” Allura asked, her brows furrowed in concern.  
  
“This, princess, is Earth music! And good Earth music, at that,” Lance replied with a grin, causing Shiro to sigh and rub his temples in frustration.  
  
“Lance,” he began, but the blue paladin cut him off.  
  
“Aw, c’mon, Shiro! Lighten up a little! It’s not every day we get the chance to –“  
  
“What. The fuck. Is this garbage?!”  
  
The room went silent, save for the lyrics blasting from the speakers (where were those, anyway?), as a very irate Keith stormed into the room. He looked as if he had just rolled out of bed, his clothes disheveled and his black hair sticking up in every direction. If there hadn’t been murderous intent in his eyes, Lance would have been crying with laughter at the sight. As it was, he was offended at the insult which had been directed at his taste in music.  
  
“Um, excuse me, this is not garbage,” he retorted, placing a hand on his hip. The red paladin’s eyes narrowed.  
  
“It is when it’s being blasted over the castle’s communication system! You know, the thing that’s usually used to let us know when there’s danger around? Especially when other people are trying to get a little sleep!”  
  
Now that he mentioned it, it occurred to Lance that Keith wasn’t dressed like usual. Instead, he’d donned a pair of baggy sweatpants, as well as a too-large shirt that kept sliding down his shoulder.  
  
_‘Who knew he even owned pajamas,’_ he thought idly, beginning to tune out the boy’s yelling. This only seemed to infuriate his rival more, as he started to step towards Lance. Shiro made a move forward, as if to step in between Keith and Lance, but then the red paladin surprised them all by collapsing onto the couch. He ran a hand through his terrible bedhead, causing Pidge to snort in amusement.  
  
“You know,” they said, “it’s a shame you don’t know how to braid it. That’d help you out a lot when you sleep. Keith tiredly rolled his eyes and raised a middle finger up in their general direction. Then he rolled away from the rest of the group, burying his face into the couch cushion.  
  
“Okay, everyone, cut Keith some slack,” Shiro sighed. He then looked towards Pidge. “And turn the music down some, would you? You nearly gave us a heart attack.”  
  
“Although, this Earth music does seem very invigorating,” Coran added. Lance wondered when he’d shown up. It had to have been during Keith’s temper tantrum.  
  
Pidge obliged, lowering the music to a more acceptable volume. Lance could still hear the lyrics over the others’ chatter, even as they left the lounge.  
  
_Are all the good times getting gone?_  
  
_They come and go and go and come and go._  
  
_Oh, yeah, I’ve got a lot of friends who are stars,_  
  
_But some are just black holes._  
  
_‘Pfft, sounds about right,’_ Lance thought, glancing over his shoulder on the way out. Keith was passed out asleep already, a frown on his face. _‘What a grouch.’_

____

____

~O~

The rest of the day followed in an easy routine. The paladins all went about their business, training on their own. When dinner rolled around, Keith never showed up. The others seemed unperturbed, but Lance was curious (he wasn’t worried, definitely not that).  
  
After dinner, he found himself wandering back towards the lounge. _‘It’s not like I care,’_ he told himself. _‘I’m just curious as to why he missed dinner.’_  
  
The room was dimly lit where Shiro had turned the lights out when they’d left. Lance wandered over to the couch. Sure enough, the red paladin was still fast asleep, a frown still tugging at his lips. He had rolled over to put his back to the back of the couch, his arm hanging limply off the side and reaching to the floor.  
  
For all the show he put on when he was awake, even Lance had to admit Keith looked small and… well, adorable when he was sleeping.  
  
“Dude, that can’t be comfortable,” he muttered, crouching down to Keith’s level. He shook the other paladin’s shoulders in an attempt to rouse him, but was unsuccessful. After a few moments, Lance gave in with a sigh.  
  
“Man, you’re gonna have my head over this.”  
  
Carefully, so as not to rouse the sleeping boy, Lance picked him up, shifting Keith so he could carry him on his back. To his surprised, Keith was incredibly light. The thought worried him.  
  
_‘Man, out of everyone, you definitely can’t afford to miss a meal. Do you ever eat anything?’_  
  
Lance made his way out of the lounge and down the dimmed hallways. The castle was quiet now; everyone else had gone to bed. Only his footsteps, the quiet sounds of Folie à Deux playing in the background (Shiro had forced Pidge to lower the volume even more, so as not to disturb anyone else), and Keith’s quiet breathing provided any respite from the silence.  
  
“What are you doing, Lance?”  
  
Said paladin yelped in shock, nearly dropping his now-awake cargo in the process. Keith merely tightened his grip around the other’s neck, a small noise of annoyance escaping his lips. Lance huffed an irritated sigh.  
  
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I just didn’t want you bitching about the crick in your neck tomorrow.”  
  
For a moment, Keith was silent, as if he were surprised. Lance resisted the urge to laugh. _‘Surprised I can actually be a pretty nice guy, are we?’_  
  
“… I don’t actually hate this album.”  
  
Lance nearly dropped Keith a second time in his surprise, causing the boy to growl out, “but I swear, if you tell a single person, I will hunt you down and murder you.”  
  
Lance couldn’t help it – he burst out laughing. He hadn’t been expecting any gratitude from Keith for bringing him to his bed, but that admission was the last thing Lance expected. It was unreal. Behind him, he felt Keith turn his head to the side, his hair brushing the back of Lance’s neck.  
  
_‘He’s probably pouting,’_ Lance thought before saying aloud, “So are you, like, one of those elitists that only likes pre-Folie Fall Out Boy?”  
  
Silence followed his question, and with a jolt of glee, Lance realized he’d hit the nail on the head. By this point, he was practically skipping with excitement. He only refrained because he didn’t want Keith to strangle him.  
  
“No one would believe you if you told them,” Keith mumbled.  
  
“Okay, okay,” Lance laughed in reply. “Take a chill pill, dude. Your secret’s safe with me. I’m just… a little surprised, okay?”  
  
“Don’t see why it’s so surprising.”  
  
“Maybe because you’re so serious all the time? I wouldn’t really expect you to be embarrassed over music, of all things. Hell, I’m surprised you even listen to music. What’s your favorite song on this album, anyway?”  
  
Lance was rambling at this point, trying to keep the conversation from falling into an awkward silence. Part of him knew if that happened, the moment would be gone as if it had never happened at all. Keith yawned from behind him, then sleepily replied.  
  
“I dunno, I like ‘I Don’t Care’ a lot. Also ‘West Coast Smoker’ is pretty good.”  
  
“Edge lord,” Lance snorted. “But, hey, that’s cool with me. Both are good songs.”  
  
After that, they fell into a companionable silence. Part of Lance wanted to fill the silence, but another part of him wanted to leave it, surprised at how comfortable it was. Finally, the pair made it to Keith’s room. Lance bumped the button to the door with his elbow and ducked inside, careful to avoid knocking Keith into anything. It seemed to Lance that he’d dozed off again.  
  
_‘Good grief, it’s like you haven’t slept in a week. Are you okay, man?’_  
  
Gently, he set Keith down on the bed, making sure to pull the sheets back so he wouldn’t catch a chill. After making sure everything was okay, Lance turned to head to his own room so that he could try to get some sleep. There was no doubt in his mind tomorrow would be a busy day.  
  
“Hey, Lance…?” Said boy paused in the doorway, turning back to see Keith staring at him groggily. He looked down, not meeting Lance’s eyes. “Thanks…”  
  
Lance beamed. “No problem, buddy. Make sure you catch some sleep. I wouldn’t wanna kick your ass unless you were at the top of your game!” Keith’s eyes went wide, then he shook his head, chuckling slightly.  
  
“Yeah, you, too. Good night, Lance.”  
  
Lance offered him one last grin before he left the room, hoping he’d be able to sleep with all the thoughts churning in his mind.

~O~

The next day was… awkward. Lance had managed to get a decent night’s sleep, but that hadn’t stopped him from realizing he’d had something of a moment with Keith, of all people. And maybe, just maybe, the red paladin wasn’t quite as bad as he’d previously thought. He was definitely still fun to tease and goad, though.  
  
On Keith’s part, however, it was almost physically painful. He was so awkward at breakfast that Lance had to actually pull him aside after the oddly quiet meal.  
  
“Dude, chill,” Lance said, forcing Keith to look at him. “You’re overthinking shit, and don’t even try to deny it.” Grey-violet eyes met his own dark blue ones, surprised reflecting in their surface.  
  
“How did you…?”  
  
“I’ve got kids I helped take care of, man. How many times do you think I’ve carried my cousins to bed when they fell asleep watching television? It’s seriously fine,” Lance replied. Keith’s shoulders seemed to sag a little in relief. Or maybe Lance was just imagining things. Regardless, he grinned and clapped a hand to the shorter boy’s shoulder.  
  
“Now, how about we go to the training deck? I seem to recall promising you an ass kicking this morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) used in this chapter:
> 
> "27" -Fall Out Boy
> 
> Also mentioned:
> 
> "I Don't Care" -Fall Out Boy  
> "West Coast Smoker" -Fall Out Boy


	2. What a Catch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, look, another chapter. So, Crys and I are hard at work on this, and we're trying to stay ahead of the game. I can't promise a super-regular, updated multiple times a week fic for y'all. But I can promise that we'll update AT LEAST once a week. 
> 
> And comments, constructive criticism, and reviews are always greatly appreciated! Thanks for bearing with us!
> 
> EDIT: Crys here! I'm finally getting around to posting the edited chapter! Once again, the lovely MadiM is our beta, so thank her for the better readability <3

“Pidge! Look out!” Keith heard someone yell. He heard a gunshot, and realized belatedly the voice was Lance’s.

_‘Focus, Keith!’_

He sliced down another Galra drone, breathing heavily. They were very close to being overwhelmed. He heard Hunk yell through the communicator in his helmet and instinctively ducked down just in time for a barrage of blaster fire to go overhead.

“Yeah, go Hunk!” Lance called joyously. Keith waited for a moment in the sudden silence before standing.

Hunk had managed to take down almost all of the drones in a single sweep. He stood by himself at one end of the room, shocked at his own actions. Lance bounded up to him, providing cover fire for the few drones who were still standing.

Keith sprinted to the nearest drone, removing its head in one smooth motion. He straightened and looked around, cataloguing the other paladin’s positions.

Shiro was closet to him, his Galra arm glowing bright purple as he plunged his hand into the chest of a drone, pulling out a box of wires. He immediately turned to the next one that ran through the open door – they just _kept coming, dammit._ This was supposed to be a simple outpost, something easy to wreak havoc in and steal supply information. Why were there so many drones?

Lance was standing by Hunk, the farthest paladin from Keith. Hunk was shaking badly, his bayard pointed to the floor. Keith frowned. _‘Hunk, come on, buddy, we need your help.’_

He couldn’t see Pidge anymore. He looked around in a panic, worried about the younger paladin, and found them perched on a rafter in the ceiling, observing the fight below. Their bayard was glowing in their hand, electricity sparking off the sharp edge. In a flash, Pidge sent the edge hurtling towards a drone who had the misfortune of stepping below them, and it went down as if it had been struck by lightning.

Keith was pulled back into the fight by yet _another_ drone pointing a gun at him. He lost himself in the fight, snarling as he took down drone after drone after drone.

When he next had a chance to check on everyone, his world slowed almost to a stop. Creeping up behind Lance was a Glara drone, its gun held high enough to shoot straight through the blue paladin’s head. Keith let out a cry, trying to warn Lance, and began to sprint towards him. Lance’s eyes widened as he turned around, slowly, so slowly.

_‘I’m too far away!’_

Lance pulled his bayard up – not fast enough. The drone set its feet and aimed, a finger on the trigger. Keith saw everything in sharp clarity, and he just knew he was about to see Lance die. Unsaid words filled his head, but all he could do was yell.

Strangely, the next few seconds happened too quickly for him to process. A ball of green and white landed on top of Lance, shoving him to the floor. A green blur lurched forward, and the sound of a blaster rang through his ears when the drone fell down, a hole punched clean through its chest.

“… Pidge?”

Lance’s voice was small, but he grew suddenly panicked. “Pidge! Pidge, no!”

Keith had stopped running. He was frozen in the center of the room, staring as Pidge swayed on the spot. Lance jumped up and grabbed their shoulders, holding them as they collapsed. “Pidge! Oh my god, Pidge! Y-you’re gonna be okay –“ his voice was choked, as if he were holding back tears.

Hunk was pale from shock, as if he couldn’t believe what had just happened beside him. Keith stepped forward with a jerk, afraid to see Pidge and the damage the gun had done to them.

Shiro was already by their side when he arrived. When had he crossed the room? He couldn’t remember. He stared down at Pidge in Lance’s arms, strangely numb to the situation. Why was their stomach red? Or was that their chest? Lance and pulled off Pidge’s helmet, and Keith thought he saw a line of red coming from their mouth.

Shiro was barking orders, telling Hunk to snap out of it and give them some cover fire while they got Pidge to safety. Shiro pulled the small green paladin gently out of Lance’s arms, which were now covered in the same red substance that covered Pidge. Keith realized with a start that it was blood.

The escape was also a blur in time – how had they managed to get out? How many more drones did they have to get away? How did Keith manage to pilot Red back to the castle, Green hot on their tail even without her paladin?

Allura got the castle away quickly, opening a wormhole and bolting out of there before fighters could follow them. They had barely made it out of their lions when she made the jump, sending most of them to the floor – the only one who stayed upright was Shiro, who was holding Pidge tightly to his chest.

Somehow, magically, they made it to the cryo pod room, and soon Pidge was suspended in the healing liquid, their face serene even with the streaks of blood covering their lips. Keith stared at them, numb.

The room was eerily silent. Shiro had left to speak with the princess after ensuring Pidge would be okay. Coran had walked out not long after, cheerfully assuring the rest of the paladins their friend would soon be back to normal.

Hunk hovered by the pod, worry evident on his face. Keith stood near him, unsure of what to do to comfort him. Lance, however, was located far away from the pod, on a small curved couch which had been moved into the room some time ago. He was bent over, his elbows on his knees, hiding his face in his hands. Keith thought he saw him shaking.

While Keith consistently wished for Lance to shut up, he found no joy in this silence. Unable to take it any longer, Keith stalked out, leaving Lance and Hunk alone to watch for Pidge to wake up.

 

~O~

It took two whole days for Pidge to wake up. When they walked unsteadily into the dining area, Lance supporting them, Keith nearly jumped up in surprise. He quickly stomped down those feelings, instead smiling at Pidge.

“I’m glad you’re awake, Pidge. We’ve been worried about you.”

They smiled dryly back at him, sitting heavily – or, as heavily as they could, being so small – into their unassigned assigned seat. Lance brought them a plate of the green food goo, which caused them to scowl.

“What, I go unconscious and you can’t even bother to make me real food when I wake up?”

Hunk laughed humorlessly. “S-sorry, Pidge. Haven’t really been able to concentrate.”

They smiled softly at him. “Eh, it’s fine. I’m only halfway kidding.” They picked up their spoon and began shoveling the goo into their mouth, obviously ravenous after two days of healing.

Breakfast passed without incident. Keith couldn’t help but feel extremely relieved with Pidge in the room – he felt as if things were back to normal. Well, almost back to normal. Keith noticed Lance seemed quieter than usual, but he attributed it to relief that Pidge was okay. And besides, it wasn’t like he was paying _that_ much attention to Lance.

Pidge insisted they join in on training today. They focused mainly on the stupid maze, since it wasn’t very strenuous work. They cycled through pairs and changed up the maze every time. Keith had almost forgotten about Lance’s uncharacteristic silence at breakfast when it was his turn to guide Keith through the maze. He didn’t notice until after he had made it safely through the maze that Lance had neglected to use this opportunity to torment Keith. He stared up into the control room above with his brow furrowed, trying to figure out what was going on.

Lance’s silence lasted through the rest of the day. His aim seemed unaffected, but he didn’t make his usual cocky comments. Keith even tried to get a rise out of him by insisting one shot was sloppy, but Lance responded only by pressing his lips together in a tight line and breathing through his nose to shoot the next dummy, landing the shot right between the eyes.

Some time that evening, Pidge hooked up their computer to the sound system again and began playing music of their own. It was quiet, and even somewhat calming, even though it was clearly meant to be dance music. Keith lounged on the couch in their living area for a while, listening to the steady typing of pidge’s fingers as they worked on something new. The television and game system sat to the side of the room – Pidge had managed to beat the game within a few days of getting it to work.

Now, however, they seemed intent on getting their computer to hook up to the television. Curiosity finally got the better of him, and Keith stood to walk over to Pidge.

“So, what are you working on?”

They didn’t look up, but did push their glasses up on the bridge of their nose. “Just trying to connect these two. I’ve got some movies saved on my computer, I thought it would be cool to get them to play on here so we can all watch together.”

“Huh. That’s cool.”

They grunted, but made no other comment. Keith shifted his weight to his other foot. He had never been good at reading people, but he was pretty sure that Pidge seemed paler than usual after their stint in the healing pod.

“Well, uh, don’t stay up too late. You need to rest after getting out of the pod.”

“Is that emotion I hear, Keith?”

He frowned at them. “Don’t push it, short stuff.”

Pidge flashed a smile at him, finally looking away from their work. “I appreciate it, Keith. Really. I’ll try to sleep soon, okay? I just think I’m really close to getting this to work.”

He sighed, realizing he was defeated. “Alright. G’night, Pidge.”

“Night!”

Keith made his way back to his room, leaving the sounds of Pidge’s typing and music behind. They must have managed got localize the music to one room to prevent bothering anyone else on the ship. Not for the first time, Keith found himself impressed with how smart the green paladin was.

A new music, however, sounded from down the hall from him. He walked towards it, curious, slowly realizing the music was from Lance’s recently purchased album. Keith found himself standing outside Lance’s door – hey, it was on the way to his own room, it wasn’t _weird_ – and listening to the music within.

_I got troubled thoughts_

_And the self-esteem to match_

_What a catch, what a catch_

_And all I can think of_

_Is the way I’m the one_

_Who charmed the one_

_Who gave up on you_

_Who gave up on you._

Keith realized with a start the music he was hearing wasn’t just Fall Out Boy – it was Lance singing along, his voice broken as if he were crying. Keith felt a pang of… something in his chest. He listened intently, hearing not just the music, but the meaning behind the lyrics. It was as if Lance was singing _about_ something. Himself, maybe?

_You’ll never catch us_

_So just let me be_

_Said I’ll be fine_

_Till the hospital, or American Embassy._

On an impulse – because of _course_ Keith couldn’t stop himself, he was always too impulsive – he knocked on the door, pausing only a moment before letting himself in.

Lance whirled around, his mouth open in surprise at the sudden intrusion. He wiped at his face furiously and glared at Keith.

“Dude, you can’t just w-walk in like that!”

Keith, admittedly, had not thought past getting through the door. “Um…”

“Look, just… can you just go?” His voice was quiet and watery. Keith tensed, and just went with his first thought.

“Do you need to talk?”

Lance openly gaped at him. Wait, why did he just offer that? Lance didn’t even like him. Why would he talk about his problems? Feeling dumb, Keith took a step back, staring at the floor.

Just as he was about to give up and leave, Lance spoke up. “I… didn’t think you’d be the one to offer,” he said slowly. Keith looked up to see Lance decidedly not looking at him, his hand curled around his neck in his nervousness. Keith thought his face looked a little flushed, but that may have just been the dim light.

Lance sat carefully on the edge of his bed, reaching out to pick up his phone and turn down the volume a little. Keith moved forward slowly, and sat awkwardly on the bed, leaving some space between them. He had no idea what he was doing here. He was never good with people; why did he think he could help Lance?

They sat in silence for a moment. Keith was tense beside Lance, who seemed just as uncomfortable as he was. Before Keith could regret his decision too much, Lance sighed.

“It’s just… hard, ya know?” Lance was staring at the wall, his gaze unfocused. Keith watched him with rapt attention. “I just… I feel like I don’t really belong here. Or anywhere.”

When he paused, Keith felt like he should fill the silence. “What do you mean?” he forced out.

“I’m just so stupid,” Lance said quietly, almost too softly for Keith to hear. “I mean, Pidge got hurt because of me. Because I wasn’t fast enough. I should have been able to stop it. I mean… I think of Pidge as a little sibling. And it’s just so hard because all I could see when they got shot was my actual family. And it’s all my fault. I’m just… not good enough.” He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands.

Keith was stunned. What do you even say to something like that? He reached out awkwardly and patted Lance’s shoulder. “That’s… rough, buddy.”

Lance snorted. “Really? That’s the best you got?”

Keith grimaced. “Sorry, I’m not… good with people. But, um, I think you’re being ridiculous.”

Lance turned to glare at him, his eyes shining with tears. “That’s even worse, man.”

“No, listen.” Keith leaned forward, his hand sliding over to drape over Lance’s shoulders. “I… I think you’re good enough. I mean, have you ever missed a shot? And – and you make everyone laugh, like, all the time.”

Lance made another sound of derision. “Yeah, because they’re laughing _at_ me.”

Keith tightened his hold on the other boy’s shoulders. “We are _not_ laughing at you, Lance. You are making us laugh because you’re genuinely funny.”

“Being funny doesn’t help in battle,” Lance said in a low voice. He sounded almost angry. “It’s not going to help when I’m too dumb to see an enemy coming up near me, or when Pidge has to save me by hurting themselves. It’s not going to help when I mess up while we’re fighting as Voltron and I make us fall over. It’s not going to help me get home to my family!” There were tears streaming down his face now, and Keith was panicking.

_‘What do I do now? Oh, great, I have no idea how to handle people crying_ at all! _’_

Keith knew he was bad with words, but better with actions. So Keith threw all caution to the wind and decided to _show_ Lance what he meant, what Lance meant to him. He reached over with his other hand and pulled Lance’s shoulders parallel with his own, taking a moment to acknowledge the shock on the blue paladin’s face before he pulled Lance into a tight hug. His hands slid across the other boy’s back, one settling on the back of his neck as he pulled him closer. Lance’s breath tickled his neck, but Keith tried not to think about it.

“I’m sorry I’m not good with helping people feel better, but if you ever just need to talk to someone, I’m here. I just… might not always know what to say.”

Keith tried very hard to ignore Lance’s hands as they slowly snaked around his waist. The feel of the other boy’s hair as he tucked his face into Keith’s shoulder was almost as distracting. Keith stamped down the thoughts as they popped unbidden into his head. He wanted Lance closer, wanted him to depend on him in a way he didn’t depend on the others.

“And, just so you know, Pidge doesn’t blame you. They’re totally fine. Any one of us would have done it.”

Lance simply nodded into his shoulder.

“And I know you would do it for us, too. So don’t beat yourself up about it, okay?” The words were flowing more easily now that Keith didn’t have to look at Lance as he said them. He stared hard at the wall. “It could have happened to any of us. Don’t just feel bad about it – if you do feel bad, then do something. Come train more. I – I can even help you, if you want. With close combat.”

Lance stiffened, then slowly pulled away. Keith tried not to miss the feeling of him too much. Lance pulled back just far enough to look Keith in the eyes, although the black-haired boy was finding it hard to look at him with his arms still around his waist. Lance looked confused, as if he were searching for answers in Keith’s eyes.

“You would do that?” he asked softly. Keith swallowed hard.

“Well, yeah. If you want to learn, I’d – I’d be happy to teach you.”

Lance looked like he might cry again. Keith opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Lance lurching forward for another hug, shoving his face into the crook of Keith’s neck. Keith held his breath for a few moments, frozen, while Lance hugged him tightly around the waist.

“Thank you,” Lance whispered, his voice thick with tears. Keith involuntarily tightened his arms around the other boy, leaning his head over to brush his cheek against Lance’s hair.

_‘He smells nice.’_

They sat like that for a few moments, listening to the last lines of the song through Lance’s phone.

_I got troubled thoughts_

_And a self-esteem to match_

_What a catch_

_What a catch…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) used in this chapter:
> 
> "What a Catch, Donnie" -Fall Out Boy


	3. Shut Up and Klance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, for the love of everything good, let us know if our attempts at Spanish suck. We'll definitely do our best to fix it!
> 
> EDIT: Crys here! This is the updated version after our lovely beta MadiM got her hands on it! <3

“If you ask me, I think the paladins have done an admirable job and are certainly deserving of a break,” Coran said, eyeing the exhausted group. If he weren’t so tired, Lance would have hugged the Altean.

They’d been going nonstop for what seemed like forever. And even when they weren’t going on missions, Keith had started helping him with his hand-to-hand combat. That meant early mornings, and if there was one thing Lance was not, it was a morning person.

Keith was a good teacher, though; he had to admit. And maybe it helped a little that something seemed to have changed in their relationship. Since the night Keith walked in on Lance having an emotional breakdown, something had changed. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but it was there all the same.

It was odd, really. He and Keith still bickered like usual, but it seemed the heat behind the words was gone. It was more like friendly banter than anything.

“Earth to Lance! Hellooooo!”

The blue paladin was jerked from his thoughts by Pidge rapping their knuckle against his skull sharply. He grimaced, swatting their hand away.

“Ow, what?”

“Princess Allura is giving us a day off!” they exclaimed. “Don’t tell me you missed everything she said?”

“Sorry,” he replied sheepishly, “I kind of zoned out for a bit, there.” To his right, Hunk laughed.

“Bro, of all people, I would have thought that you’d have listened the closest. How long have you been talking about needing a break?”

“You feeling okay, buddy?” Shiro spoke up, his voice laced with concern. Across from him, Keith cocked his head to the side, brows furrowing slightly and violet eyes questioning.

_‘Damn, did Keith knock me on my ass one too many times while sparring this morning? Maybe he rattled my brain too much,’_ the blue paladin thought, before laughing and replying, “Yeah, I’m all good! Just tired, like I said.”

The past few weeks – Lance still didn’t quite have the hang of how to convert Altean time to Earth time – had been rough, to say the least. Shiro had struggled to break Black’s bond with Zarkon, something that had just now reached a point where they weren’t constantly being tracked by the Galra Empire. Beyond that, it had been nonstop missions for the paladins, and Lance was starting to suffocate.

“I think that will do for now,” Allura said kindly. “While Coran and I run some diagnostics on the castle, why don’t all of you go rest?”

The paladins collectively mumbled “yes” and “thank you” before shuffling out of the room. As they left, Lance noticed Shiro lingering behind, but shrugged it off as him wanting to talk more strategy with Allura.

Meanwhile, he, Pidge, Hunk, and Keith made their way to the lounge. Lance collapsed unceremoniously onto the crescent shaped couch, leaning back to rest his head against Hunk’s thigh. His friend rolled his eyes, but otherwise, gave no indication of the blue paladin’s sprawling position. Keith sat at Lance’s feet, bringing his knees up to his chest as he settled in the corner of the couch.

“Is there anything you guys are in the mood for today?” Pidge asked, firing up their computer. Hunk shook his head, and Keith remained silent while Lance pondered. Eventually, he just shrugged.

“I dunno, something upbeat, I guess.”

“Suit yourselves,” the green paladin muttered. After a moment’s silence, dance music began to play softly, making the atmosphere of the room more relaxed. Lance sighed contentedly, watching Pidge type away on their computer with a vague interest. They’d been working on a way to connect their computer to the television for a while now, so they could all watch movies. They seemed to be having difficulty replicating the cable from Earth that did the job.

“You know,” he began, “when we next get to go back to the space mall, we should totally get more games to play, since we beat the first one in a week.”

At this Pidge snorted a laugh, then replied “More like, it took you a week to beat it. I finished the game in a day and a half.”

“Hey!”

“I think I’d want to get some actual cookware,” Hunk interjected, a wistful expression on his face. Lance could practically taste the delicious food he knew his friend would cook.

“I definitely second new videogames,” said Pidge, “I’d also like to get more movies. I’m sure there’s probably an impressive collection of 80’s movies back in that shop.”

At this, Hunk’s eyes lit up. “Oooh, what if they had ‘Dirty Dancing’? Or ‘The Breakfast Club’? Maybe they’d even have some musicals! I haven’t seen ‘Mama Mia!’ in who knows how long!”

“Dude, don’t even mention that movie or I’m gonna be singing ABBA for the next week,” Lance groaned, although he was laughing. Then, he glanced over at Keith. During this entire exchange, the boy had been silent and, while that wasn’t unusual, he seemed left out. The blue paladin felt his smile slip a little and an uncomfortable emotion (was it pity?) knot in his stomach.

“What about you?” he asked quietly. The red paladin looked up at him in surprise, as did Pidge and Hunk.

“Um,” Keith started, a faint blush dusting his pale cheeks, “well, I’d really like to get a guitar.” Lance couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. The other boy’s face flushed as red as his lion, his eyes darkening in rage.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Lance choked out, wiping tears from his face. “I just, I didn’t take you for the kind of guy that plays guitar. So, you’re like one of the fuckboy types that’s all dark and brooding and handsome. And then you play guitar. I bet you know ‘Wonderwall.’”

The room went oddly silent after his small outburst, causing the blue paladin to sit up and look at the others. Hunk was staring at him oddly, while Pidge had a sly, shit-eating grin on their face. And then there was Keith. His eyes were wide with surprise, face still flushed from Lance’s teasing.

“What, do I have something on my face?”

“You just called Keith handsome,” the youngest paladin exclaimed, an evil glint in their eyes. Hunk nodded in agreement, and suddenly Keith didn’t want to meet his eyes. Lance felt his face grow warm, and he was positive he now matched the red paladin’s jacket perfectly.

Just as he opened his mouth to shoot a snarky retort in the green paladin’s direction, familiar lyrics drifted to his ears.

_‘I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums,_

_Oh what a shame that you came here with someone._

_So while you’re here in my arms,_

_Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young!’_

“I love this song!” Lance exclaimed, relief flooding his body at the perfect timing of the song. He really didn’t want to deal with Hunk’s snooping and Pidge’s sarcasm when he barely knew how to process his own emotions. And he definitely didn’t want to deal with it all with Keith sitting right there.

He leapt to his feet, a grin on his face. Behind him, the youngest paladin let out a groan of “oh, here we go” as Lance began to move his hips in time to the beat. He turned and thrust a hand towards Hunk, inviting his friend to take it.

“Esé! Baila conmigo!”

Out of the corner of his eye, the blue paladin noticed Keith start, his flustered expression morphing to one of surprise. He resisted the urge to snort. _‘Goes to show how much he actually knows about me.’_

“Okay, okay, I’m coming!” Hunk sighed, though a large grin was plastered his face. Lance pulled his friend to his feet, laughing as the yellow paladin clumsily began to dance with him. Even Pidge laughed at the sight, their glasses sliding down their nose as they clutched their stomach.

_‘Lookin’ for some trouble tonight,_

_Take my hand, I’ll show you the wild side,_

_Like it’s the last night of our lives,_

_We’ll keep dancing ‘til we die!’_

Lance sang along to the words, real joy in his heart for what felt like the first time in forever. Music and dancing always had a way of clearing his head, and Hunk had long since grown accustomed to his antics. There had been many times when they had ganged up on Pidge at the Garrison to help cheer their younger friend up.

_‘Maybe a fun night is just what we all need,’_ he thought giddily. Then, the realization dawned on Lance that a fun night was exactly what the paladins needed. He stopped in his tracks, nearly causing Hunk to fall over in the process.

“Wha—Lance, bro, why’d you stop??”

“Sorry, sorry,” Lance apologized distractedly as he helped right his friend. Then grabbed his jacket and sped towards the door.

“Lance!” called Pidge. “Where are you going?!” The blue paladin paused briefly, shooting a smile over his shoulder.

“I had an idea! I need to go find Coran! I’ll be back soon!”

 

~O~

 

Keith watched Lance sprint out of the lounge, off to find Coran because he’d had some sort of idea. A knot formed in the pit of his stomach. Lance and ideas usually did _not_ go well, so who knew what kind of trouble he was going to get them into.

As it was, Keith was having a hard time focusing on anything. The image of Lance’s hips moving in perfect time to the music kept replaying in his mind. And, god forbid he think about the way the Spanish had rolled off the blue paladin’s tongue like liquid silver.

_‘C’mon, Keith! Snap out of it!’_ he thought desperately, lest the others notice his internal struggle. It was bad enough  he completely shut down the moment Lance had called him handsome.

_‘Fuck, fuck! Don’t think about that! It didn’t mean anything! You see how he is with Hunk!’_

“Uh, Keith?” said yellow paladin jolted him back to reality, a concerned expression on his face. “You okay, there?”

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just tired,” he replied, decidedly not looking in Pidge’s direction. He knew the youngest paladin well enough by now to just know they would see straight through his terrible lie. Hunk, on the other hand, was much more trusting of his friends.

“I guess it’s a good thing the princess gave us a day off, then,” Pidge added. Then, with a sly smirk in Keith’s direction, they changed the subject, “I wonder what Lance ran off to ask Coran about.”

“Beats me,” Hunk said with a shrug. The red paladin remained silent, choosing instead to lean back against the couch, willing his racing mind to calm down.

The trio fell into an easy silence, listening to whatever music Pidge decided on. They seemed to have a varied taste, as some of the songs Keith could pick out during their rapid flipping sounded vastly different than others. Finally, they settled on something quiet and vaguely EDM-like.

“So,” Hunk spoke up, “you play guitar?”

Keith was surprised the boy had remembered that, even after the whole episode with Lance. “Yeah, living by yourself gets lonely sometimes. Playing helped distract me.”

“Hunk and Lance both play the ukulele,” the green paladin piped up from their spot on the floor. Keith’s eyebrows rose in surprise. It made sense Hunk would play ukulele – he knew the yellow paladin was proud of his Samoan heritage – but Lance?

As if sensing his question, Hunk let out a laugh. “I taught Lance during our first semester at the Garrison. He fell in love with it almost immediately, and plays more than I do,” he offered by way of explanation.

The paladin in question chose that moment to burst through the door, a smile so bright it could light the room plastered across his face.

_‘Speak of the devil.’_

“Well, gentlemen and others,” the blue paladin said excitedly, “you may want to go take a nap! We’re having a party tonight!”

“What?” Keith deadpanned, his mind reeling. Lance snorted a laugh.

“A party. You know, the thing people do to have fun? I asked Coran and he said he’d help me pull things together. C’mon, we all need a break and it’ll be a great way for all of us to bond!”

Well, when he put it that way…

“Ugh, fine,” the red paladin groaned, getting to his feet.

_‘I just know I’m gonna regret this.’_

“Yes!” Lance cried, deep blue eyes sparkling. Keith decidedly avoided eye contact with the boy. Or with the others, for that matter. He gave a halfhearted wave over his shoulder as he headed towards his room.

“See you guys later, I guess.”

 

~O~

 

Later that night, Keith found himself being ushered back into the lounge by a smirking Lance. When they finally made it through the door, the red paladin couldn’t help but gape. In the span of a few hours, the small area had been transformed into a party room, complete with a table of what he could only assume was supposed to be snacks (though he was almost positive it was just goo molded to look like finger foods).

Everyone else was already there, even Shiro and Allura. Pidge was fidgeting with their music while Hunk and Coran finished setting their goo creations on the table.

“Alrighty, now that everyone is here, we can have fun!” Lance exclaimed, giving the green paladin the thumbs up to start the music. Almost immediately, Ke$ha started to play. Keith bit back a laugh. He was positive Lance had made the playlist for this ‘party,’ which could only mean disaster.

“I’m glad to see you actually trying to socialize, Keith,” a familiar voice said. The boy turned to see Shiro smiling gently at him.

“Yeah,” he replied slowly. “I’m honestly not sure how I feel about this.”

“Maybe some Nunvil will loosen you up!” Coran interjected suddenly, shoving a glass into his hands. Keith eyed the clear liquid suspiciously.

“Isn’t this the stuff that Lance said tasted like hot dog water and feet?”

“That was clearly expired Nunvil,” protested the Altean. “You can’t tell me Earth alcohol would taste good after 10,000 years. This is fresh, and is much better.”

Coran had him there. Shrugging, Keith hesitantly took a gulp from the cup. The fluid burnt his throat on the way down, where it settled in his stomach heavily. The taste, overall, was better than he’d expected. A gentle warmth bloomed in his stomach, spreading across his body in a pleasant manner.

“Just watch it, okay?” Shiro warned him. “This stuff is strong.” Keith merely sighed and settled on the couch beside the black paladin to watch the others.

Somehow, Lance had goaded Pidge into dancing with him, a sight which made the red paladin chuckle. They were doing some sort of line dance (was it the Cha-Cha Slide? Or maybe the Cupid Shuffle?) and laughing as they went.

“Maybe you should join them?” This time it was Allura who spoke up. Keith shook his head in response, eyes wide.

“I don’t have a clue how to dance. Besides…this is their thing. I wouldn’t want to butt in.” Ignoring the look Shiro was giving him, he took another swig of the Nunvil as Allura and Shiro stepped away from the couch.

Keith had to admit, Shiro was right about it being strong. Already, he felt slightly lightheaded, his body buzzing pleasantly. He found he could no longer seem to avoid watching Lance dance. It was mesmerizing, the way his body moved in time with the music.

“Like what you see?”

The red paladin was jarred from his gawking as Pidge plopped onto the couch beside him. They smirked, clearly enjoying the boy’s obvious discomfort. Still, Keith couldn’t bring himself to deny anything. It seemed the Nunvil had taken his filter away.

“Maybe.” The green paladin snorted, an expression of mild disgust on their face. Then they eyed the cup in his hands.

“How is that stuff, anyway? Shiro wouldn’t let me have any. He said I was ‘too young’ for it.”

Keith was inclined to agree with their leader’s sentiment, but an idea formed in his mind. He offered the cup to Pidge.

“You wanna taste it? I’ll share if you don’t tell anyone about…” he trailed off, too embarrassed to finish the thought aloud. The green paladin grinned and took the cup.

“It’s a deal,” they replied, tipping the liquid up to their mouth. After a sip, they grimaced, returning the drink to Keith’s hands.

“Maybe it’s supposed to be mixed…?”

And so the night passed by. Keith did his best to monitor how much Nunvil he consumed, but eventually gave up when he realized his brain had turned to utter mush. Instead, he sat in companionable silence with Pidge, the latter taking small sips of the drink every now and then. In exchange, they didn’t utter a peep, even as the red paladin openly gawked at Lance’s ass.

Then, the first notes of a new song sounded, and the blue paladin let out an excited shriek. “Oh, man, I love this song! Hunk, dance with me!”

_‘Oh, don’t you dare look back_

_Just keep your eyes on me,_

_I said “you’re holding back.”_

_She said “shut up, and dance with me.”’_

Keith watched, mesmerized, as the yellow paladin danced with his friend. He could only assume this was a relatively normal occurrence in their friendship, as Hunk seemed completely unfazed by all of it. Then again, they’d all been drinking Nunvil, so who knew?

_‘We were victims of the night,_

_The chemical, physical kryptonite,_

_Helpless to the base and the fading light_

_Oh, we were bound to get together,_

_Bound to get together.’_

The next thing he knew, Lance was pulling Pidge into the area and spinning them around, both laughing as they went. Even Shiro, Allura, and Coran seemed to be enjoying the show. Maybe a break really was what they’d all needed.

It occurred to Keith, belatedly, that the blue paladin seemed to be trying to dance with every one of them. After dancing with Hunk and Pidge, he pulled Allura up to dance, followed by Coran. The entire time, he was singing the words, eyes shining and laughter in his voice.

Though, even Keith had to laugh when Lance pulled Shiro up to dance (something he was actually surprised the black paladin allowed), then not-so-subtly left their leader practically in the princess’ arms. Then, with a jolt, the red paladin realized Lance was heading his direction.

Panic welled up inside him as the boy sang the bridge of the song, dramatically gesturing to him. If it were anyone else, Keith would have laughed, but now all he could do was sit in a stunned silence.

_‘Deep in her eyes,_

_I think I see the future,_

_I realize this is my last chance,_

_She took my arm,_

_I don’t know how it happened,_

_We took the floor and she said’_

Lance pulled Keith to his feet as the music faded into a soft guitar solo. He glanced over his shoulder at Shiro, positive his anxiety was written all over his face. The older man only smiled, and made a motion with his hands as if to say ‘go for it!’

_‘Some help you are,’_ the red paladin thought. He turned back to face his companion as he once again began to sing the lyrics.

_‘Oh don’t you dare look back,_

_Just keep your eyes on me,_

_I said “you’re holding back”_

_She said “shut up and dance with me!”’_

Sighing, Keith gave in, letting the other boy pull him forward. Lance grinned, placing his hands on the red paladin’s hips.

_‘Oh fuck me_ _,’_ Keith thought desperately, fighting to control the emotions swirling inside him. Hesitantly, he followed the blue paladin’s lead as he coaxed them into moving with the beat.

Then, the world seemed to fade away and Keith forgot he was in space, that he was surrounded by the other paladins and two aliens. All he could focus on was the movement of Lance’s body with his own. A laugh bubbled up inside him, spilling over as he gave in completely to the silliness of it all.

_‘At least I can pass this off as being too drunk, tomorrow.’_

Lance spun him around, seemingly encouraged by Keith’s laughter. As the song built into its final chorus, the red paladin felt Lance leaning forward, encouraging him to lean back. He obliged, laughing as the other boy brought them into a dip. He tangled his fingers into the blue paladin’s hair, grinning freely as the song’s notes faded away.

They stood for a moment, breathing heavily, as silence engulfed them. Then, Keith couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing. After a moment, Lance joined him, their laughter causing their already weak legs to give. They sunk to the ground, still laughing and clutching one another tightly.

Then, Lance’s forehead was against his own, and Keith’s vision was filled with a deep, sapphire blue. His breath hitched in his throat, and—

“DOGPILE!” Pidge shrieked, throwing themself on top of the two boys, followed by Hunk. Keith grunted, not expecting the sudden weight. His eyes met Lance’s once again, and they dissolved into laughter, this time joined by their friends.

_‘I don’t want this to end,’_ he thought, gazing fondly at every person in the room. His eyes came to rest on the blue paladin last. _‘I don’t want to go back to being rivals.’_

~O~

 

Lance proudly called his dance party a success. By the end of the night, everyone was thoroughly exhausted, but also seemed to be content. Pidge had curled up in a ball on the couch and promptly fallen asleep. Shiro picked them up gently, so as not to wake them.

“I’ll take them to their room,” he said, turning to leave.

As he exited the room, the blue paladin turned to the princess and Coran. It fascinated to him to see Allura actually drunk, which wasn’t something he’d ever thought he would see. But she was giggling madly, cheeks flushed and voice slurring.

“I loved watching Ke- La- Klance dance,” she managed to get out between hiccups.

“Klance?” Hunk interjected, amusement lacing his voice. “It kinda has a nice ring to it.” Lance groaned, shoving his friend.

“God, shut up, will you? Don’t encourage her!”

“Whazzgoingon..?”

He and Hunk turned to see a drowsy Keith eyeing them sleepily, his hair a mess and clothing askew. Try as he might, the blue paladin couldn’t shake the image of hotheaded, impulsive Keith looking so… vulnerable.

“Why don’t you make sure he gets to his room okay?” Hunk suggested. Before Lance could protest, the yellow paladin was out the door, leaving the two of them alone. He sighed, walking over to the drunken boy and crouching down to his level.

“Hey, buddy,” he said quietly. “You ready to go to bed?” Keith blinked at him owlishly for a moment, then slowly nodded. “Okay, I’m gonna carry you. Piggyback, like last time. So just make sure you have a good hold around my neck. But don’t choke me.”

Lance turned his back to the red paladin, waiting patiently. After a moment, he felt the weight and pleasant warmth as Keith leaned against him, snaking his arms around the boy’s neck as he did so. After making sure he had a good hold, the pair began their trek to Keith’s room.

The entire way, Lance’s mind operated at light speed. A lot had happened, and he really wasn’t sure how to process any of it. But when he and Keith had danced, there was… something… that had sparked between them. He wasn’t sure what it was, but then the boy had laughed and it was like the rest of the world fell away.

The blue paladin knew there would be no escaping Pidge’s prodding gaze tomorrow. They all knew he hadn’t been drunk enough to even come close to tipsy. For now, though, he pushed the thoughts out of his mind, instead focusing on getting his drunk companion into bed and comfortable.

Keith was incredibly compliant when intoxicated, he decided, as the other paladin let him remove his jacket and boots with no complaint. Lance gently pushed him onto the bed, making sure he was comfortable. Then, as an afterthought, he grabbed a water pouch from the small cooler in the corner and set it beside the bed.

Glancing back over his shoulder one final time, Lance flicked the lights off and shut the door behind him quietly. A heavy sigh escaped his lips.

_‘Buddy, you’re gonna have one hell of a headache in the morning_ _.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) used in this chapter:
> 
> "Die Young" -Ke$ha  
> "Shut Up and Dance" -WALK THE MOON  
> Translations:  
> Ese! Bailar conmigo!: Homeboy! Dance with me!


	4. My Anaconda Don't Want None Unless You've Got Voltron

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, so we wrote this chapter after we wrote "Numb" because we had the inspiration, but it fits best between "Shut Up and Klance?" and "Blurry," so here we are.

They were flying another drill when it happened. It was only a matter of time, really.

Ever since the second visit to the space mall and the purchase of that old Fall Out Boy album, Pidge had been insistent on listening to as much music as possible. It usually resulted in Lance bursting out into song throughout the ship, with Hunk begrudgingly joining in. Lance soon found out the kinds of music that nearly everyone listened to.

Pidge preferred hard dubsteb, with some Daft Punk spread through it to lighten it up. Hunk enjoyed more relaxed acoustic tunes. Lance, of course, loved his dance music with Ke$ha and Lady Gaga. He knew that Allura preferred something similar to classical music, as did Coran - as was evident by the two Alteans ballroom dancing in the lounge one evening after training. Lance tried to cut in and teach Allura to salsa, but the music was all wrong.

He still wasn't sure what kind of music Keith and Shiro liked to listen to, but if Lance had to guess, Keith probably listened to a lot of emo bullshit, like Fall Out Boy and Linkin Park. He couldn't help but laugh at the mental image of Keith as an emo kid, blasting Linkin Park in his too-big headphones.

Shiro, though, was an enigma. Did he like heavy metal? Maybe he liked classical music, like Coran and Allura. Or maybe something crazy, like Pidge's dubstep. Lance truly had no idea, but he wanted to know.

His opportunity came during the drill. They were flying their lions in a new formation, taking gentle nudges from Shiro's mind that presented themselves more like something they had actually thought up. Lance still didn't quite understand how the mind melding worked - he just knew that he and Blue were one entity, one being, one mind. But even when they were flying separately in a group, Lance could feel the presences of each of his teammates, and this was how Shiro was guiding them through the moves.

Lance felt a wave of mischievous intent wash through his mind, followed by a wave of worry that felt like it was from someone else. Just as he opened his mouth to ask who it was and to defend his own honor, Pidge's voice came over the comm link.

"Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt! It is so big," they said in the peppiest voice possible. Lance could barely contain his laughter - he knew this intro by heart. He felt waves of recognition and confusion from the other paladins, but rather than let them in on the joke, he let Pidge continue. He tried to send Pidge the thought of him continuing the song, which he hope they received - shouldn't the mind link work like that?

"She looks like one of those rap guys' girlfriends. But, you know, who understands those rap guys? They only talk to her because she looks like at total prostitute, okay?" The bass line started at just the right time, and Lance could have sworn he felt a surge of disapproval at Pidge saying 'prostitute.' That _definitely_ came from Shiro.

"I mean, her butt! It's just so... big! I can't believe it's just so round, it's like, OUT there! I mean, gross. Look! She's just so... black!"

And Lance jumped right in, reveling in the feelings of amusement coming from Blue. "I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE! You other brothers can't deny that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and that round thing in your face -"

"You get sprung!" Hunk interjected, adding his voice to Lance's without being overbearing. Lance felt a surge of affection for his best friend, and they rapped the rest of the verse together.

Lance nearly lost it when they reached the end of the first verse - Pidge interjected in the deepest voice they could manage.

"So fellas -"

"YEAH"

"Fellas -"

"YEAH"

"Has your girlfriend got the butt?"

"HELL YEAH"

Another wave of mild disappointment. Lance almost stopped singing so that he could tell Shiro to stop being such a dad, but he was having too much fun.

When they reached the next verse, Lance noticed that someone still seemed confused. He assumed it was either Keith or Shiro, but thought it was more likely to be Keith, since the guy lived alone in a desert for a year. He was a loner before then, too, so he probably hadn't even heard the song. Shiro was a popular guy, and Lance knew there was no way that Shiro had never heard this song before.

Lance almost tripped over his words, but he was saved by both Pidge and Hunk rapping perfectly.

"A word to the thick soul sisters I wanna get with ya, I won't cuss or hit ya, but I gotta be straight when I say I wanna -"

Blue saved them all the trouble of making the next noise by roaring at that moment. Lance sent her a wave of appreciation as he continued to sing.

"Til' the break of dawn, baby got it goin on..."

Pidge once again supplied the background vocals, this time putting on a high falsetto that pulled amusement even from Keith.

Hunk and Pidge fell out, letting Lance go on alone. He put on his best seduction face (that no one could even see, since the cameras weren't on) and barreled through the next verse.

"Yeah baby, when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin' to do with my selection. Thirty six-twenty four-thirty six! Ha, only if she's five-three -"

And then, to everyone's surprise, Shiro's voice crackled through the comms. Lance sat back in shocked silence, bringing Blue to a halt as he listened in awe.

"So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda, but Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda. My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hun!"

Hunk was the first to recover, joining Shiro in the rest of the verse. Pidge gasped, and Lance heard the clatter of something falling in their lion as they scrambled to do something. Shiro and Hunk rapped together through the rest of the verse, but Lance was still reeling at the fact that not only was he right about Shiro having heard the song before, but that Space Dad actually _knew_ it.

"So ladies, if the butt is round, and you want a triple X throw down, dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts. Baby got back!"

The song finished with a definite _click_ , and there was a moment of silence before Pidge broke, laughing loudly over the comms. Lance finally gathered himself and lost himself to laughter, and he vaguely heard Hunk join them. There was still a feeling of bewilderment coming through the mind link, which Lance now knew was coming from Keith, but Lance couldn't focus on that - he was too focused on the hilarity of the situation.

After a few minutes to gather themselves, a voice spoke over the comms.

"... Shiro, what the fuck?"

Lance dissolved into giggles again as Shiro lightly retorted, "Language, Keith."

"Hey, let Shiro be a kid," Pidge interjected, their voice dripping with sarcasm. "He's only six."

"I am constantly regretting telling you guys when my birthday is," Shiro replied dryly, causing Lance to laugh harder. He was nearly wheezing.

Yellow appeared in his field of vision, and he felt Hunk's concern. "You okay, buddy?"

"I -I'm fine man, I just - that was so fucking funny I just can't handle this -"

" _Language_ , Lance."

"Okay, _Dad!_ "

"Wait, you can't call me both a kid _and_ Dad, it doesn't work like that -"

"But you're a Space Dad," Pidge said, "so it works fine."

Hunk chuckled. "Space Dad. I like it."

Shiro's exasperation bled through the mind link. "Keith! Help me out here!"

There was a moment of silence, and Lance prayed to everything he knew that Keith would pull through for them.

"... Sorry, Dad, I don't make the rules."

Shiro groaned while the rest of the paladins cackled.

~o~O~o~

"Keith, my man, you really pulled through for us there," Lance said as he met the other paladins in the lounge. Keith looked up from his seat on the couch, but immediately looked away. He seemed almost embarrassed.

"Uh, yeah. No problem."

"I'm forever calling Shiro 'Space Dad' now," Pidge piped up. Shiro groaned and sank further into his seat.

"Why are you guys like this?"

"We need some form of entertainment until Pidge gets their computer working to play movies for us," Lance stated. "It might as well come from you."

"Speaking of, you guys need to leave me alone if you ever want me to finish that," Pidge said dryly. Multiple people sighed, Lance included.

"Fiiiiine, be that way, gremlin." He turned to Hunk, who had just stood up. "Hunk, my man, light of my life. Let's go cook or something." He stood and stretched, his back popping. "It's been a while since we bonded."

"That does sound like a good idea," Shiro mused. He turned to Keith, who looked at him expectantly. "Any ideas, Keith?"

The red paladin shrugged. "I was just gonna go train, I guess."

"Jeez, is that your idea of fun?" Lance taunted, his hands on his hips. Keith crossed his arms and glared at him.

"Some of us like to be ready if something happens," he snapped. Shiro held his hands up to stop Lance from retaliating.

"Alright, enough of that!"

"See? Space Dad," Pidge stage-whispered. Lance laughed and turned to Hunk, who was waiting by the door.

"Alright, buddy, let's go make the magic happen!"

o~O~o

An hour later, Lance was still in the kitchen with Hunk, waiting on his latest baking creation to come out of the oven. They had all been slowly learning Altean, and Hunk hoped that this batch of baked goods wouldn't turn out the same way the scaultrite cookies had.

Lance's phone was playing music, and Lance was dancing absentmindedly along to some of it. Ke$ha blasted as loud as it could without blowing out the speaker, and even Hunk was bouncing as he bustled around the kitchen.

"My Hunk of burnin' love, my man."

"Hmm?"

"We _need_ to find a way to make food from home," Lance said wistfully. "Can you imagine? My mouth is already watering thinking of food from home."

"Man, I know! What I wouldn't give for some coconut milk. It would make this food goo stuff taste so much better!"

"Hunk, buddy, I'm so sorry to say this, but coconut milk has like no flavor! You gotta spice it!"

Hunk leveled a look at Lance. "Not everything has to be spicy, you know."

"But it adds so much flavor to food!"

Hunk rolled his eyes, but his lips were curled up in a small smile. "Besides, I don't think Pidge could handle the level of spicy that we like."

"Psh, right. They're, like, the whitest person here. Well, I guess aside from Keith." Lance lifted himself to the counter, his feet tapping on the cabinet below him. Hunk looked at him with slight shock.

"Dude, Keith isn't white, you know that, right?"

"Buddy, he's super white!"

"Lance, oh my gosh, he's Korean!"

Lance nearly had to pick his jaw up off the floor. "Wait, _what?_ "

Hunk laughed. "Yeah! I mean, sure, he's from Texas, but he's Korean. I'm sure he could handle some spice in his food."

"Bro, you know I don't like it when you lie to me!"

Hunk huffed and put his hands on his hips. The intimidating gesture was slightly ruined by the frilly apron and bright pink oven mitts he was wearing. "Why would I lie about that?"

"Well, how do you know for sure?" Lance folded his arms, sure that he had won.

"He told me." Hunk shrugged and turned to the oven to take out the latest baking attempt. "Besides, it's not like he actually looks white. Even though he's pale, it's not the same as Pidge. I mean, Shiro is pale, too, but he's not white." He cocked his head at Lance. "C'mon, buddy, I would have thought that after all you've been through, you wouldn't assume based on skin color."

Lance flushed and looked away. "W-well, I..."

_My anaconda don't_

_My anaconda don't_

_My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!_

Lance jumped down off the counter, ecstatic at the opportunity to change the topic.

"Light of my life! Do you think I still remember the dance to this?" He asked excitedly, picking up his phone and pausing the song to restart it.

Hunk sighed, setting the baking tray gently on the counter. "I dunno, man, that dance was really complicated."

"Well we're about to find out!" He pressed play on the song, set his phone next to the tray, and moved away towards the center of the kitchen to give himself more room.

o~O~o

Keith, fresh from a shower after training with Shiro, was heading to the kitchen for a water pouch when he heard voices down the hallway. He sighed to himself, resigned to the fact that he would have to interrupt Lance and Hunk in order to get what he was after. He thought he heard music, but that soon stopped.

The voices became clearer as he neared the open door to the kitchen.

"I dunno, man, that dance was really complicated," Hunk's low voice rumbled. Dance? What dance?

"Well, we're about to find out!" he heard Lance say confidently as music began to play. Keith thought he recognized the opening lyrics - wasn't that the song they were singing earlier? What did anacondas have to do with anything?

Keith neared the open door in time to see Lance rolling his head around his shoulders, shaking his long limbs out in preparation. The red paladin found himself hesitating. _'I just don't want to interrupt, that's all...'_

_Boy toy named Troy used to live in Detroit_

Keith nearly stopped breathing when he saw Lance drop down, his knees spread wide as he bounced on his heels. He noticed that Lance's jeans were tight on his thighs - and then he was rising, slowly, hands held out as he moved his hips in a way that they hadn't moved at the party. Keith felt as if he couldn't look away as Lance bent over, throwing his arms out to keep his balance. He took a step forward, his arms held above his head, and Keith swore he died when Lance rolled his hips up.

_Real, real, real, gun in my purse, bitch, I came dressed to kill_

Lance bounced to the side, his hips popping perfectly to the beat. Distantly, Keith hoped that Hunk wouldn't catch him staring, but he didn't actually care at that moment.

_Who wanna go first?_

Lance dropped again, his back arched as he rolled his head. _'This is it, this is how I die.'_

_I'm high as hell, I only took a half a pill_

Keith thought the little jump looked fun, and then Lance bent over again, nearly in half as he touched his hands to the floor. Keith choked - he hadn't realized quite how flexible Lance was.

And then the song sped up, and Keith though he really _had_ died with the way that Lance was moving.

_By the way, what he say_

_He can tell I ain't missing no meals_

His moves were fluid, his knees out as he thrust his hips forward. Even his shoulders were moving perfectly in time - Keith realized belatedly that Lance had taken off his jacket, and even through the baggy shirt, he noticed how wide Lance's shoulders were compared to his narrow waist.

_Let him eat with his grills, and he tellin' me to chill_

Lance actually dropped to his knees on the floor, and for a moment Keith was afraid he had fallen, until his upper body popped up, his entire body rolling as he bounced.

_And he's tellin me it's real, that he loves my sex appeal_

Lance held a hand to his thigh as he thrust his hips upward, and Keith clamped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from making a sound at that. _'Holy shit, get a GRIP, Keith!'_

_Say he don't like 'em bony, he want something he can grab_

Lance stood up and ran his hands along his body.

_So I pulled up in the Jag and I hit him with a jab like_

He thrust his hips out again, and Keith decided that was enough of that. He managed to get control of his body long enough to take a shaky step away from the kitchen, and then he was running, sprinting to the solitude of his room. He was thankful he didn't run into anyone on his way - he didn't think he could even form a sentence right now.

His door slammed shut behind him, and Keith collapsed against the wall, breathing hard. He knew his shortness of breath wasn't due to running - he had better endurance than that - but rather by what he had just witnessed. God _dammit_ , why did Lance have to be so attractive? Keith glared at the floor and tried to get the image of Lance on his knees out of his head.

_'Fuck. Fuck this. Fuck me. God dammit.'_

o~O~o

Panting, Lance leaned heavily on the counter as the rest of "Anaconda" played over his phone speaker. Hunk looked impressed.

"Wow, man, I'm a little surprised you remembered it all. You holding out okay?"

Lance stretched out over the counter. "I'm dying, Hunk."

"Oh, so that means you won't be able to test these new cookies. Fine, more for me!"

The blue paladin shot upright, waited a moment for the room to stop spinning, and then stared at Hunk indignantly. "How dare you! After all my hard work!"

"Lance, you didn't help make these at all," Hunk deadpanned.

"I was here for moral support!"

The larger boy sighed, smiling. "Alright, here. The moment of truth!"

Lance looked down at the cookie Hunk had just handed him, inspecting it. It _looked_ like a normal cookie. It felt like a normal cookie. He took a deep breath to steel himself, then bit into it, making a pleased sound when it came apart easily. His eyes widened.

"Hunk."

"Yeah?"

"This is the best thing I have ever tasted."

Lance nearly inhaled the rest of the cookie, Hunk laughing at him and eating one of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) used in this chapter:
> 
> "Baby Got Back" -Sir Mix-A-Lot  
> "Anaconda" -Nicki Minaj
> 
> Choreography: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXl8TMbieug&list=RDYXl8TMbieug#t=86


	5. Blurry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact of the day: there is a strong correlation between the ease of writing and how much sleep you've had. Also, apparently we really love Klangst, so have some more of that, lmao.

"I'm Galra."

Silence met his words, so thick he felt like he could slice it with his bayard. He shuffled his feet, nervous. "Well, not completely, obviously, but- at least part- Galra." His voice was shaking. Since when did he betray his emotions like this? This wasn't like him, he knew it.

More silence. Keith looked around the room, trying to avoid everyone's stares. Shiro stood by his side, a quiet reassurance that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't a total monster.

Lance was the one to break the silence. "Wait just a tick here! How do you know? You don't look at all like a Galra!"

One of the members of the Blade of Mamora stepped forward, drawing the unwanted attention away from Keith. "The blade he carries is one of our own. We still do not know how he came by it, but only one with Galra blood is able to wield it and bring out its full potential, which we have seen him do." He paused to look at Keith. "While it seems that his human blood is dominant, it is clear to us that he has Galra blood in him."

Keith looked away from the Galra man, accidentally locking eyes with someone across the circle from himself. Allura stared at him hard, like she was trying to glare her way through his brain. Her eyes narrowed, and he suddenly felt very small.

And just like that, Allura turned around and walked out of the room, her nose in the air.

"Allura, wait!" Coran called, running after her once he recovered from the shock of her behavior. Lance picked his jaw up off the floor and huffed.

"What in the world was that about?"

Keith wasn't listening. The room erupted as everyone began speaking at once. Keith felt rather than heard Shiro speaking beside him. His vision went out of focus.

_'Everything's so blurry.'_

Shit. His eyes were tearing up, and there was no way he would let anyone see him cry. Of course Allura hated him now - he was Galra, one of the monsters that destroyed her home and killed all her family. He should have known better, should have realized -

Before anyone could stop him, Keith practically ran from the room. He heard the other paladins calling after him, but he didn't stop - if anything, he stepped faster, needing to just get away from it all.

_'Everyone's so fake.'_

He knew they didn't care - they were only calling after him because he was a paladin of Voltron. They didn't actually like him.

The only honest person on this castle was Allura. She, at least, had not been afraid to show her distaste around Keith. And now that he thought about it, she was always like that. Snide comments here and there, always talking down to him like he was less than she was. Which he was, he knew that.

He would never be anything more than a monster.

Maybe this whole Galra thing was a good thing. It gave the people he cared about a reason to hate him other than just, well, hating him. How could he be upset when he knew he deserved their distrust?

Even Shiro was better off without someone like him around. And _god_ , it had hurt so much when he saw Shiro in that base, when he heard Shiro telling him to just give up all his answers because he wasn't worth the wait. It had hurt because he knew it was true, and if there was one thing Shiro was good at, it was telling Keith the hard truths about the universe.

When Keith's vision cleared, he found himself in the training room. He slipped his bayard into his hand, then thought better of it - no, he didn't deserve to use that. The bayard clattered to the floor when he flung it to the side, and his empty hand was soon clasping the hilt of the knife he had owned since he was small.

Keith barked at the training program to begin, and he tried to lose himself against the robots.

_'Everybody's empty.'_

Another one down.

Another. Another. Another.

He thought he saw someone standing at the side of the room, but he paid no attention to them. He fought more robots, his arm aching with the weight of the blade. A splatter of red against a robot made him pause, which earned him a jab from a staff into his solar plexus, sending him reeling. He recovered, more slowly than usual, and took off the robot's head. With a start, he realized that the red had come from him.

His shoulder wound had reopened, spilling hot blood down his arm and onto his sword. He grimaced and called for the training program to stop, leaning against the wall and breathing heavily.

_'Everything is so messed up.'_

Here he was, bleeding onto Allura's floor when he didn't even belong out here. Why was he here, anyway? The only reason he made it to space was because Lance let him in Blue when they first found her.

His thoughts leapt unbidden to Lance - the way his hips moved when he danced, the way he _smiled_ at Keith when they had fallen to the floor laughing, the way he was so thoughtful the next day when Keith had a hangover.

Keith shook his head. _'No. I can't think about him.'_

He wasn't worth Lance's smiles.

He rolled his shoulder and called for the training program to start again. Maybe if it got too difficult, the robots would just kill him. That sure would be easier, right? The team would be better off without him. All he ever did was get them in trouble by not thinking and rushing into things. And now here he was, a member of the alien race that was attempting to control the universe.

He supposed he had always been this way. It would explain why he was such a fuck-up.

The robot stopped mid-swing, and he had thrust his sword through its chest before he realized that the simulation was over. Confused, he looked around the room, trying to figure out why the simulation had stopped. Standing at the door was the first and last person he wanted to see - Lance.

_'You could be my someone.'_

No. Stop that. Lance wasn't worth his time, it didn't matter what feelings he had for the other boy. But here he was, walking slowly across the room towards Keith. He didn't swagger like he usually did.

Keith couldn't face him. Not now. He moved forward, already fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. He tried to brush past Lance, pretending he wasn't there, but the blue paladin reached out and grabbed his elbow as he walked by.

"Keith, wait -"

Keith wrenched his arm free, practically snarling in his desperation. "Leave me alone," he snapped, stepping away. He didn't stop to look at Lance's face as he ran from the room. He was actually running this time, sprinting down the halls to the one place he thought he could be alone. He hoped that he didn't run into anyone else, as he didn't want the others to see the tears that had started to roll down his cheeks.

God, why was he so weak?

The door to his room slid shut behind him, and he flung his bayard into a corner along with his jacket. He suddenly couldn't get enough air, and everything was too hot, and the ship was too loud and the tears just kept _coming_ and he couldn't breathe -

His door slid open, and footsteps echoed behind him.

Keith whirled around, his eyes wild and his hands tangled in his hair as he _tried_ to get a hold of himself. Lance stood just within the doorway, the door closing silently.

"What the _fuck_?! Get OUT!" Keith yelled, vainly attempting to hold back his tears. Lance looked alarmed and held his hands up in surrender.

"Dude, I just want to help -"

"How can you POSSIBLY help? I know you all hate me, so stop pretending!"

"Dude, what are you talking about? We don't hate you!"

"STOP LYING TO ME!"

Keith turned away from Lance, his hands falling to his sides in tight fists. Why wouldn't Lance just leave him alone? This entire thing was stupid, he should have left _ages_ ago, he didn't belong here -

"Keith, just listen to me for one fucking minute here, okay?" Lance snapped, shocking Keith into stillness. He heard a deep breath behind him as Lance calmed himself. "You do realize that out of everyone on this ship, I'm the one who most understands what you're going through?"

"You didn't just find out that you're related to an alien race that is hellbent on enslaving _the entire known universe!_ "

"So what? Does that mean YOU are hellbent on enslaving people? No? Didn't fucking think so." He took another breath. "Dude. Just. Fucking listen to me. I KNOW how this feels. You feel wrong, and alone, and totally different from everyone just because of your heritage."

"What the fuck do you know?"

" _Eres estúpido o algo?_ Do you not know where I'm from? I'm fucking Cuban, dude!"

Keith could hear it now. Maybe it was just because Lance was angry, but Keith could hear the accent. He had never heard it before.

"Yeah. Didn't know that, huh? Dumbass! That's why I would know what you're going through! Do you know how hard it was to go to school with a thick accent? I'm STILL learning English, man! I worked to get rid of my accent because people were racist!"

Keith slowly turned his body to face Lance awkwardly.

"Everyone made shitty racist jokes because they thought it was funny that I wasn't an American citizen. SO MANY Communist jokes! And I'm willing to bet that right now you feel a lot like I did when I first moved to the states!" He took a step towards Keith, the anger on his face changing to an earnest look. "I get it! You feel like you don't belong. Like maybe you never belonged here, like something is wrong with you just because of your blood. I bet you think that the Galra blood is what made you so impulsive, too. But, _shit_ , Keith... we don't care what your family is. I don't care if your mom was Galra or your dad was a fucking furry -" Lance was close enough to hit now, and Keith punched his arm lightly for that.

" _Nos preocupamos. Dejanos ayudarte._ " He placed a gentle hand on Keith's shoulder. "Talk to me. I, of everyone on this ship, understand what you're going through."

Keith was filled with such an intense surge of emotion that he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. He stood there awkwardly and managed to stutter out, "I-I don't understand any of the Spanish you just said."

Lance smiled softly. "You don't have to."

Keith couldn't take it. He lurched forward, startling Lance. The Cuban boy probably thought that Keith was about to kick him into the next star system, but Keith just flung his arms around the other boy's waist and buried his face into his neck. Lance recovered almost immediately, wrapping his arms tightly around Keith's shoulders as the shorter boy sobbed.

Keith heard Lance murmuring in his ear, but couldn't understand what the boy was saying over the sound of his own crying. God, he was so stupid. He had completely failed to keep his emotions in check, and now here he was, crying into Lance's shoulder. His knees were shaking, and Keith found it difficult to stand up on his own. It wasn't long before his knees gave out entirely, and he and Lance slowly sank to the floor.

Lance pulled away for a moment, and Keith felt panic rise up into his chest at the thought of Lance not only seeing him like this, but just _leaving_. But Lance simply pulled his jacket off, setting it on the floor beside them, before pulling Keith back to his chest.

Keith lost track of time. He couldn't tell how long he had been crying into Lance's shoulder, only that at some point the other boy had laid on the floor and pulled Keith practically on top of him. He was constantly whispering into Keith's ear, a mixture of English and Spanish, although the way he spoke told Keith all he needed to know. Lance's hand rubbed small circles on Keith's back, slowly easing him down from the panic of earlier.

When Keith's cries had quieted to sniffles, Lance sat up slightly. Keith tensed, his hands clenching Lance's shirt, but he relaxed when Lance settled down, a freshly claimed pillow under his head. He returned his arms around Keith, who relaxed at his touch.

_'You could be my scene.'_

"Hey, Keith?"

"Hmm?"

"No matter what your heritage, you're still Keith. You're still our red paladin, our friend who jumps into a fight too quickly and is a totally awesome pilot. You haven't changed, okay?"

"... Allura seems to think so."

Lance pressed his cheek to Keith's head. "She has some... other issues. Let her work those out, okay? We're still here for you. Nothing has changed for us."

Keith hummed, pressing his nose up against Lance's neck. He was so warm...

_'Know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene.'_

Did the obscene include himself? Keith didn't know. But right now, Keith didn't care. Lance, this beautiful boy, was here now, holding him, comforting him, keeping him from a panic. Nothing else mattered but Lance's arms around him.

For the second time since they started the Voltron mess, Keith let himself enjoy the closeness. He closed his eyes and inhaled Lance's scent - he smelled like the beach, and Keith wondered how he managed that. Maybe that was just how he smelled.

~o~O~o~

Lance woke up some time in the night. He was sprawled on the floor, his head on a pillow stolen from the bed next to him. He tried to move, and found himself weighed down. Memories of the night before came rushing back, and his arm tightened involuntarily around Keith, who was lying half on top of him.

Keith was fast asleep. He was breathing slowly, his breaths even, a lock of hair fluttering with every exhale. Before Lance could think twice about it, his hand was reaching up to brush the hair out of Keith's face, tucking it behind his ear. His fingers lingered on his cheek, and he marveled at the softness of the red paladin's skin before he flinched and pulled away.

He lay still for a moment before he realized just how chilly it was in the room. His hand reached blindly for his discarded jacket, sighing with relief when he found it within reach. Moving slowly so he didn't bother Keith, Lance moved the jacket to drape over the both of them like a blanket.

When he settled back in, Keith had grabbed a handful of his shirt in his sleep. Lance couldn't help but find the other boy... well, cute. He thought about teasing Keith about it in the morning, but thought better of it. He really didn't feel like dying so soon.

He closed his eyes and relaxed, his arms wrapped tightly around the shorter boy on top of him.

~o~O~o~

When Keith woke up later, he was _very_ confused. He was curled into Lance's side, his hand gripping the boy's shirt tightly. Lance's arms were wrapped around his waist, holding him flush against the blue paladin. Their legs were tangled together, but not uncomfortably.

And on top of all that, Lance's jacket was draped over the two of them like a blanket.

Keith moved slightly, wincing as pain shot through his shoulder. Oh, right. The injury from that day. He hoped he didn't bleed all over Lance's shirt. Keith wriggled to lay completely on the floor next to Lance and moved his hand so he could check the fabric against his wounded shoulder - nothing wet, so no more bleeding. He figured he would take a shower in the morning to wash the rest of the blood off.

Lance rolled onto his side, facing Keith, and pulled him close. Keith's heart skipped a beat, his breath caught in his throat. They were sharing the pillow now. Lance pulled Keith so that his head fit underneath the other boy's chin. The blue paladin sighed happily in his sleep.

Keith could feel his face heating up in a blush. He was very, _very_ thankful that Lance was not awake to see this - he didn't think the Cuban would let him live it down. Slowly and carefully, Keith reached an arm out and draped it over Lance's waist. Lance responded almost immediately, pulling him tightly against his stomach. Keith could feel the other boy's skin against his own where their shirts had ridden up.

It took Keith a long time to fall asleep again, but that was partially because he didn't want to wake up and have the moment gone.

_'There's oceans in between us, but that's not very far.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) used in this chapter:
> 
> "Blurry" -Puddle of Mudd  
> Translations:  
> Eres estupido o algo?: Are you stupid or something?  
> Nos preocupamos. Dejanos ayudarte.: We care. Let us help you.


	6. Iridescent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little heads up for y'all: this chapter talks about depression and anxiety some, and it was directly based off of our real-life experiences with it. So, yeah. If you're sensitive to that kind of thing, be warned.

 

_‘Too much. It’s all happening too fast.’_

Lance could barely breathe; his heart was racing and he was lightheaded. This was all happening much too fast and he didn’t know how he could possibly reign in his emotions. It felt like a lifetime had passed since he passed out on Keith’s bedroom floor, when in reality, it had only been a few days.

But, since then, everything had spiraled out of control.

He and the rest of the paladins were sent to gather the things they’d need to defeat Zarkon, and now they were back in the castle, the members of the Blade of Marmora strategizing with them. That part, he was fine with. He still had to push the lingering nausea away, along with all his fears and self-doubt.

But then Keith had to go and say those words.

“I’ll do it.”

Of course, _he_ would. Stupid, headstrong idiot. He just _had_ to all but go on a suicide mission to in some foolish attempt to prove himself to Allura.

“What? I’ll sneak onto Zarkon’s ship.”

Lance’s chest felt tight. His vison blurred in and out of focus and he had to concentrate with all his might just to stay standing. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he dimly realized that he was in the beginning stages of a panic attack.

“Lance? Hey, Lance. You alright?”

The words jarred him back to reality. The others were all staring at him, concern written across their faces. Even the Blade of Marmora members seemed intrigued by his current state. And then he locked eyes with Keith.

The red paladin’s violet eyes searched his own, brows furrowed and a frown on his face. It was all too much for Lance. He stumbled back a few steps, choked words finally managing to escape his lips.

“ _Dios mio_ , I- I have to- _tengo que irme_!”

With that, the blue paladin turned on his heel and ran from the room, not even bothering to wonder what the others would think, or be embarrassed that his words had been a garbled mess of Spanish and English.

Lance ran until he was out of breath, finally coming to a stop in some unused room of the castle. He sank to his knees, heart thudding in his chest and vision struggling to focus.

Somehow, despite being in a room so large, everything was suddenly restricting his ability to breathe properly. His hands trembled violently, skin pale and clammy. Each breath came in uneven, jagged gasps.

_‘Mierda! Fuck! Breathe, Lance, breathe!’_

He was no stranger to panic attacks. Despite having a loving family and a positive upbringing, mental illness had a strange way of worming itself into his life.

It began as something completely normal; being jealous of the achievements of one’s older siblings was normal for anyone. The same went for the envy associated with how his younger siblings got whatever they wanted.

But, somewhere along the way, that mundane sense of jealousy had morphed into something much darker. Lance began to feel as if he weren’t good enough, that he’d never live up to the standards his older brother and sister had set, that he’d never be more than just a middle child. He became the funny guy in an attempt to hide how he truly felt, his constant smiles a shallow façade.

Then, he’d been accepted into the Garrison. It was one of the high points of his life, and it was his chance to make his family proud.

But, even then, he hadn’t been good enough. Keith’s expulsion was the only reason he’d gotten the chance to be a fighter pilot. Lance hadn’t even been the one to discover his lion, for that matter. Once again, it was thanks to the red paladin that he was even there.

_‘I can’t do this. There’s no way I’ve got what it takes to be a paladin. Why did Blue even choose me?! The others would be better off without me—’_

“Lance…?”

Suddenly there was a warm hand on his shoulder. He froze, entire body tensing. There was no mistaking who’d come searching for him; that voice had haunted not only his every waking minute, but also his dreams as of late.

“K-Keith. Just. Go away. Not now,” he choked out, shrugging the hand from his shoulder. The blue paladin stumbled to his feet, wiping the sweat and tears from his face.

“Not happening. You wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m returning the favor.”

Lance whirled around to face the other boy, anger welling up inside of him. Most of the time, he’d appreciate the effort. Especially considering how far his and Keith’s relationship had come in the past few months. But, right now, he was _angry_.

“ _Hijo de puta!_ Are you _est_ _úpido_?! You’re walking into a death trap!”

His voice had risen to a shout and, without even realizing it, he’d stalked over to the red paladin and was now practically in his face. The black-haired boy looked surprised, and perhaps a little shaken. Lance couldn’t be bothered to care, at that moment.

“Do you really feel like you have to go out and prove yourself?! We went over this already! You being Galra doesn’t change a damn thing! The team needs _you_! And we need you _alive!_ ”

The blue paladin’s chest was heaving now, tears once more spilling across his cheeks. Everything was silent, aside from his own choked sobs and the ever-present hum of the ship. Then, thin arms slipped around his waist.

“You’re right,” Keith muttered into Lance’s shoulder. “I’m doing this to prove myself. It’s selfish, I know. But I’m also doing it because it’s the only way we stand a chance. And this is our first _real_ chance at defeating Zarkon. We can’t pass up on this opportunity.”

“Even if it means you risking your own life?”

“If it means freeing all the people taken by Zarkon, if it means finding Pidge’s family and protecting everyone that we care about, then yes.”

Lance exhaled a watery sigh. The anger was slowly ebbing away, leaving him weak and exhausted. He leaned into the shorter boy, arms wrapping around his shoulders. Keith squeezed him tightly, then pulled back to glance at their surroundings.

“You certainly found a room with a hell of a view.” The blue paladin couldn’t help but snort. Though, he had a point. If he had to guess, the room was some sort of observation deck. A wide window spanned its entire length, providing a beautiful view of deep space.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he replied with a slight chuckle. Keith stepped back, releasing him from the hug. Lance suddenly felt cold, as if all the warmth had been sapped from his body. He watched the boy walk to the window, lightly placing a hand against the cool glass.

“I’ve never really had a family,” he said quietly, gazing towards what lay beyond the ship. “My dad’s been gone a long time, and my mom, well…now we know she wasn’t human. I was bounced around from foster home to foster home until I met Shiro.

"He’s the closest thing I’ve had to family. The one that inspired me to go to the Garrison. He went missing right around the time I was expelled; did you ever notice that? After that, I spent all my time searching for any trace of what could have happened. I never imagined finding the blue lion, and finding Shiro, would give me people I could call family.”

Lance was stunned. Sure, they’d grown close, but he’d still never expected this kind of confession from the shorter boy. Keith turned to face him, a smirk playing across his lips.

“Did I finally find a way to shut you up?” he teased.

_‘Dios mio, he’s beautiful.’_

“For someone who constantly claims to be bad with words, you definitely gave one hell of a speech just now,” Lance retorted weakly. He made his way across the room, coming to stand beside the black-haired boy.

“I’m still not very good with words,” Keith replied. “You know that as well as I do.” The blue paladin snorted.

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure a good portion of that has to do with your total lack of impulse control.”

This earned a glare from the red paladin, though his violet eyes held no real heat. Silence washed over them for a moment, before Keith looked down, shuffling awkwardly. He hesitantly pulled a beat-up looking cellphone from his pocket, immediately piquing Lance’s curiosity.

“Like I said,” the boy began, “I’m not very good with words. But…music has always helped me when I’m upset. So, uh, there’s this song that may make you feel better?”

The blue paladin watched as Keith unlocked his phone and scrolled through songs. If he didn’t know any better, he would have said that the other boy seemed…nervous? His voice had risen at the end of his sentence, making the statement seem more like a question, as if he were unsure.

“Ah!” he exclaimed, a small smile gracing his lips. Lance’s mouth went dry and his heart thudded in his chest at the sight. “Here it is. I, uh, hope it helps.” Soft piano began to emanate from the cellphone, setting a somewhat melancholy tone. It sounded oddly familiar, though. Then the first words of the song came through.

_‘When you were standing in the wake of devastation,_

_When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown,_

_And with the cataclysm raining down, insides crying save me now_

_You were there impossibly alone.’_

“Isn’t this the song from the third ‘Transformers’ movie?” Lance asked curiously.  Keith groaned, rubbing his temple with his free hand.

“Just shut up and listen, will you?”

Lance obliged, falling silent as the song continued to play. He had to admit, he was deeply touched that the red paladin would share something so personal with him. Of course, they’d become very close, but he wasn’t one to presume things. A small warmth bloomed deep in his stomach, and he couldn’t stop a small grin from finding its way to his face.

Then, with a sudden shock, he realized that the Linkin Park lyrics weren’t the only sound in the room. Hardly daring to breath, he glanced to his left.

_‘Cojeme. El esta cantando.’_

Keith was _singing_. Quietly, with his eyes closed and hand gripping the phone tightly. Lance doubted he even realized he was doing it aloud, the words were so quiet. But all he could focus on was the soft sound of the red paladin’s voice.

_‘Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?_

_You build up hope but failure’s all you’ve known._

_Remember all the sadness and frustration,_

_And let it go, let it go.’_

It was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. And, for once, Lance wasn’t exaggerating. Keith could genuinely sing, and it made the blue paladin’s hands tremble as butterflies erupted in his stomach. Then, the boy opened his eyes, violet locking with deep blue. A blush stained his cheeks.

“Ah, I’m really so—“

“Don’t be,” Lance cut him off, stepping closer to his companion. “You seriously have a great voice, you know that?” If possible, Keith’s blush deepened further, and a pout tugged at his lips. The blue paladin’s breath hitched.

_‘I really want to kiss the pout right off his stupid face.’_

And, with that thought, it was as if the entire universe was crashing down around him. Lance knew he wasn’t straight. Hell, who was he to say that someone couldn’t be with him because of their gender? But the realization that he’d fallen for _Keith_ hit him like a ton of bricks.

“Lance? You okay?” Keith questioned, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. The blue paladin was in a daze, if he were being completely honest. All it would take was to lean in less than a foot. He shifted, starting to lean, and then—

“There you two are. Keith, it’s time to go.”

Lance honestly couldn’t tell who jumped harder, he or the red paladin. But there was Pidge in the doorway, a shit-eating grin stretched across their face. They knew _exactly_ what they’d walked in on, he had no doubt in his mind.

Keith heaved a sigh. “Fine. I’ll be there in a minute.” Pidge nodded, then left the room. One more, they were by themselves. But, now, Lance felt incredibly awkward as the gravity of what he’d almost done set in.

_‘I almost kissed him! What the fuck am I thinking?! There’s no way he likes me like that. Pinche idiota!’_

His hands were shaking, a fact that didn’t go unnoticed by Keith. The boy frowned once more, completely oblivious to the war being waged in the blue paladin’s head.

“Lance…if this is about me going, I’ll be fine.”

“I know,” Lance choked out, his grip on the shorter boy’s arms tightening. “I know. But I have to say it anyway. _Don’t you fucking dare_ _die_ _on me_ , Kogane. You hear that? If you do, I’ll hunt you down and kick your ass.”

His words seemed to surprise Keith, his eyes going wide. But then he smiled a real, honest to God smile that made Lance’s knees weak. The next thing the blue paladin knew, the breath was being squeezed out of him by a tight embrace. Then Keith was heading towards the door. But, before he left, he turned to Lance, a determined expression on his face.

“I’m coming back. It’ll be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) used in this chapter:
> 
> "Iridescent" -Linkin Park  
> Translations:  
> Tengo que irme: I have to go  
> Mierda: Fuck  
> Hijo de puta: Motherfucker  
> Cojeme. El esta cantando: Fuck me, he's singing.  
> Pinche idiota: Fucking idiot  
> (Fun fact, I knew the last one because of that Vine about "Pinches Tacos" meaning "fucking tacos.")
> 
> Note from Crys: I just wanted to tell a story about this chapter. It originally was going to have another song for it, but the song didn't quite fit with the way the chapter was going. So River texts me and is like "So I figured out what song to use." and I'm like "Yeah? What song?" And she just goes "Bro. You're gonna lose it."  
> And I did lose it. I actually screamed. This is my favorite song ever - like EVER. I have lyrics from it tattooed on my shoulder. This song has helped me for as long as it's been out, honestly. And it's just so beautiful.  
> So yeah. Just thought I'd share that.


	7. Numb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We really like angst, lmao. Sorry about that.
> 
> In other news, we've got a convention to go to this weekend! So the next chapter may be a little delayed!

When they finally convened in the control room, Keith felt like death. It was entirely too quiet, and Keith wasn't sure if he could handle looking at anyone in the eyes. When he did look around the room, he noticed that everyone seemed to be processing things differently.

Pidge surprised him - they had tears streaming down their face, slow and steady. But they made no sound. The glasses that they wore for their disguise were gone now, so he could see clear into their strangely blank stare. Keith shivered, feeling empathy for the green paladin. He knew that they looked up to Shiro as an older brother, and now had lost everyone.

Hunk was in denial. He was shaking his head, fighting back tears as he finally spoke up to try and reason with the others. Keith didn't really hear a word of it, but he got the gist. Hunk seemed to think that Shiro was out there somewhere, and that all they had to do was go find him. Everything would be okay.

Keith made no response to Hunk.

Allura, ever the voice of reason, was struggling to keep it together. Keith thought he could see her mask slowly breaking - it was clear that she thought of Shiro as more than just the black paladin. He heard her try to comfort Hunk, with Coran looking solemn behind her. It seemed only right that those two were the most subdued - all of this was _their_ fault. If they hadn't asked a group of _kids_ to _save the goddamn universe_ —

Keith's train of thought stopped when he noticed Lance. Lance was quiet, standing off to the side of the room and not looking at anyone. He had his arms crossed tightly across his chest, almost as if he were holding himself together. Keith thought he was shaking. He couldn't see the Cuban boy's face, but he was sure it wasn't pretty.

It was probably the only time he thought that Lance wasn't pretty.

"Keith?"

Allura calling his name woke Keith out of his stupor. He cleared his throat and tried to look at her. "Yeah?"

"What do you think we should do?"

Keith took a moment to process what he's been asked. "... Why are you asking me?"

Allura made a face almost like a grimace. "W-well, we defeated Zarkon. It's up to you all to decide what to do from now on."

"I'm going to find my family," Pidge said, their voice small but unwavering. They looked up at Allura, tears still streaming down their face. "I have to find them. I can't give up. I just can't."

Hunk reached over and set a gentle hand on their shoulder. "I got you, buddy. I'll help you look, okay?" Pidge looked up at Hunk, and their composure finally broke. They surged forward into Hunk's waiting arms, sobs ripping out of their mouth. Keith felt his heart lurch at the sound.

The room was awkward for a moment while Pidge got out their crying. When they calmed down a few minutes later, they turned in Hunk's arms to look at Allura. "Princess, if it's alright with you, I'd like to stay on your ship. It'll be easier to find my family with you, since you'll be traveling, I'm sure." Their voice was thick from tears.

Allura immediately agreed. "Of course, Pidge. We'd be happy to have you both."

Lance stepped forward, his head still down. "I-if it's alright with you guys, I... I'd like to come with you."

Hunk reached out and clapped a hand on the blue paladin's shoulders. "Of course, man. I don't think I could go without you, anyway."

Keith thought that Lance's request was strange. Wouldn't he want to go home? Lance was the most homesick out of all the paladins.

Allura was the one who brought up that point. "But, Lance, what about your home?"

Lance merely shrugged, still avoiding everyone's eyes. "I can go back whenever. Now I know they're safe, yeah? So... might as well help you guys."

Hunk nodded solemnly, but said nothing. Everyone's gazes turned to Keith, who shifted uncomfortably. He didn't want to talk about what happened, didn't want to deal with anyone's pity.

"Keith? What about you?" Allura's voice was gentle, but it still made him flinch. He turned his face away, hiding behind his hair. His hands clenched into fists by his sides.

Someone reached out to touch his arm, and he jerked back, still silent. He shook his head at his friends' - holy shit, his _friends_ \- concerned noises. He took another step back. Then another. And another.

And before he quite knew what he was doing, Keith was running, attempting to get away from their stares as quickly as he could. He ignored their shouts of protest after him - he had to get away, had to get out of there, before he lost control completely and fell apart on them.

What was Shiro thinking, telling Keith that he wanted the red paladin to lead if something happened to him? Keith wasn't ready. He didn't think he'd ever be ready.

Keith came back to his senses much later. He looked around and realized that he had somehow made it back to the hangars. He was curled up on the floor next to Red's giant paw, her tail curled around him protectively. His chest was heaving as he tried to breathe. Was the air thicker here? Or thinner? Something had to be causing him problems breathing. Red's calming presence pressed against his mind, her concern for him evident. She purred inside his head, nearly swallowing him whole in her affection.

 _This_ was where he was meant to be - he was Red's paladin. He couldn't change. He glared across the hangar at Black, whose damaged body was surrounded by his shield. Keith wondered if Hunk would even be able to get in to fix the lion.

With an encouraging nudge from Red, Keith stood up on shaky knees. His hand braced against Red's leg. He stepped forward, reluctant to leave her, but knowing that he must. His fingers were the last to leave Red, and they brushed against the metal gently as he walked away from her. He made his way over to Black slowly, anxiety chewing at his stomach.

He fidgeted in front of the lion. Would he let Keith in? Probably not. Keith knew he wasn't born to be a leader. In an attempt to distract himself from the task ahead, Keith dug his phone out of his pocket - he still wasn't sure why it hadn't broken yet, given how much he'd been tossed around in the previous battle - and started his music. He set the phone down on the floor, his anxiety calming somewhat as familiar notes rang through the air.

_I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

_Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface_

_I don't know what you're expecting of me_

_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

Keith couldn't help but snort at how relevant the song was. He pressed a hand on the shield that Black had put up, willing the lion to lower it so he could get in and speak to him.

The shield held strong.

Keith scowled and reached out with his mind, like he would when he was trying to speak to Red from a different room. He could feel the black lion's presence, but it withdrew into a tight shell, denying him entry. Red's presence thrummed behind him, urging him forward. Keith sighed and let his hand fall to his side, then sat carefully with his legs crossed on the floor next to his phone.

_Every step that I take is another mistake to you._

Keith tried to make himself relax, tried to reach out to the black lion to express how important it was that they bonded. He lost track of time, only sure of the song playing.

_Can't you see that you're smothering me?_

_Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control_

_'Cause everything that you thought I would be_

_Has fallen apart right in front of you_

Keith didn't hear the footsteps echoing through the hangar; he was too focused on trying to speak to Black. His eyes were shut, his breathing had calmed, and although he felt a little better, he attributed that to Red keeping his mind from turning into a whirlwind of thought.

"Keith?"

Keith _almost_ yelped at the sudden intrusion. He swallowed the sound and jumped up, spinning around so quickly that he got dizzy. Lance stood a few feet away, one hand on his hip and the other behind his neck. He was still wearing his paladin armor.

"What do you want, Lance?" Keith's voice sounded distant even to him. The song played on between them.

_I've become so numb, I can't feel you there_

_Become so tired, so much more aware_

Lance lifted his head to look at Keith directly. Their eyes met for just a moment before Keith had to look away - Lance was too much for him to handle right now. Why, of all the people on this ship, did _Lance_ have to be the one to follow him?

"We're worried about you, man."

"I didn't ask you to worry," Keith snapped.

"Yeah, well, we are." Lance took a step closer. "Keith. Buddy. It's okay to be upset about this -"

"You don't know the half of it, Lance." Keith cut him off, finally turning his head to look at the blue paladin again. "Shiro, he - he wanted me to lead if something happened to him. But Black won't even let me talk to him! I don't understand! I must be doing something wrong, I just can't -" He cut himself off and turned away.

Lance's hand landed on Keith's shoulder, and it took all of the red paladin's self-restraint to not shrug him off.

"H-hey, I'm serious. We're all... pretty shaken up right now." His voice was soft, and so _goddamn understanding_ -

"Lance, just stop." The hand on his shoulder tensed, but stayed where it was. Keith looked back at Lance, his gaze cold. "Just stop this. How could you possibly understand what this is?"

Lance had the decency to look away. "Well, it's obvious you two were close..."

"He was like my brother, Lance. He _is_ my brother." Keith took a shaky breath. "For fuck's sake, Lance, we grew up together! I - I can't just - he's _gone again_ and the last time he vanished I got kicked out of the Garrison, I lost the only good thing going for me, and I _can't do this_ -" He stopped himself when he realized he was nearly shouting, tears streaming down his face.

Well, at least it wasn't the first time Lance had seen him crying. But now? Keith was angry that he saw it. He didn't want anyone but Red to know how totally fucked up he was.

Lance pulled him into a sudden hug, his arms strong around Keith's shoulders. Keith froze, his breath caught in his throat.

"I think Black just needs some time to heal," Lance murmured in his ear. "He's probably still reeling from the fight. Let him recover some, and then come talk to him."

"You make it sound like - like he thinks Shiro is -"

"No no no," Lance assured him quickly, pulling away to look at Keith. "No. None of us think that. Shiro's out there somewhere. We just have to find him."

Keith couldn't take it. Why was Lance so _fucking_ nice? He just - he wanted to be left alone, he _needed_ to be alone.

He pulled away from the comfort of Lance's arms, ignoring the flash of confusion on the other boy's face. "Look, just leave me alone. I need to focus on this."

The only sound for a moment was the song from Keith's phone, the last few lines playing more quietly than Keith remembered setting it to.

"Keith, you really shouldn't -"

"Just leave!" Keith snapped. "Just fucking go! I didn't ask you to follow me, did I?"

Lance faltered. "Well, you just looked like -"

"Like _what_ , Lance? A fucking mess? Irrational? That doesn't give you an excuse to intrude!"

"Intrude? Dude, I'm trying to help -"

"Well I didn't ask you to!" Keith turned around and took a few steps away, closer to Black's shield. "I didn't ask for any of this. All I wanted was to find Shiro, and now he's gone _again_. You are not helping, Lance."

"If you'd just let me try -"

"I don't want you here, Lance!" Keith yelled, turning back to glare at Lance. It was a lie, really, but for some reason, Keith couldn't stop himself. "Just leave me alone! God, why are you like this? Always putting yourself where you're not fucking wanted, you're just so goddamn _obnoxious_ and I cannot stand you!" Another lie.

Lance went through about five different emotions, finally landing on cool anger. "Well, tell me what you _really_ think of me, _cabrón_."

"Fucking _finally_." Keith stepped forward, jabbing his finger into Lance's chest. "You're loud and overbearing, and you just don't know when to fucking _stop_. Every time you walk into a room, all attention just has to be on you, doesn't it?" He took a deep breath. "You're a fucking drama queen and you're not even that good of a pilot, so I'm not really sure how you got into the Garrison in the first place, but you _clearly_ didn't deserve it."

Keith regretted the words almost as soon as they left his mouth, but he refused to back down. Lance's glare was cold, while his own was fire-hot. Keith almost hoped that Lance would combust on the spot.

Lance's frown was prominent. Had he ever seen the blue paladin frown like that? Keith immediately knew that he never wanted to see that look on Lance's face again, but the damage was done.

"You know, _pendejo_ , you're not the first one to say that I'm _not good enough_. You think Iverson didn't rub that shit in my face every day? I only got in because YOU dropped out! Or, well, got kicked out, because you're a dumbass." Lance ran a shaking hand through his hair. "I don't need you telling me I'm not good enough. _Escucho que todos los días_."

"God, stop with the fucking Spanish, I can't understand you!"

" _Ese es el punto! Es mas facil para mi, el inglés no es mi primer idioma!_ "

"Just get out of here, Lance! I don't need your self-deprecating bullshit right now!"

"Fine! You know what? I'll fucking leave. I'll go. Obviously you don't need me around at all, _nadie me necesita alrededor_ -" Lance took a shaky breath and met Keith's glare.

"I'll go. But one last thing, mullet: _vete a la mierda_."

Lance left much more quickly than he arrived, leaving Keith alone in the hangar with a lion that didn't want him and swallowing words he had yet to say. He was reeling. What did he say all that for? He didn't really think all that, Lance _was_ good enough, he would always be good enough for him -

Wait, fuck. No. No no no. He did not have feelings for Lance, he did not have feelings for Lance...

He had feelings for Lance.

He had always had feelings for Lance. Keith had known it since the Garrison. He knew it from the empty ache he felt when Lance left the room, the door sliding shut silently behind him. He knew it from the way his stomach was churning when he was yelling at Lance, knew it because he never meant to say those things, he was just in so much _pain._

Keith knew he loved Lance.

He also knew that he only knew this because Lance was gone. He had fucked it up, as usual, and now there was no way to get Lance back.

Lance was gone, and Shiro was missing, and Keith was just lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) used in this chapter:
> 
> "Numb" -Linkin Park
> 
> Translations (forgive the lack of accents here):  
> Cabron: dumbass  
> Pendejo: fuckface  
> Escucho que todos los dias: I hear that every day  
> Ese es el punto! Es mas facil para mi, el ingles no es mi primer idioma!: That's the point! It's easier for me, as English isn't my first language!  
> Nadie me necesita alrededor: Nobody needs me around  
> Vete a la mierda: Go fuck yourself
> 
> If our translations are off, please let us know!


	8. Guillotine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see!
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long to get out! It was honestly very taxing to write, and it's also pretty long. But it's here now! I hope y'all enjoy it!

It had been a week.

Lance wasn’t sure how he’d managed to keep track of time, but some part of him knew a week had passed since their fight with Zarkon. Since Shiro’s disappearance. Since his and Keith’s falling out.

At the last thought, his gut twisted painfully. He’d been so angry when the boy blew up at him, his mind going blank in his rage. He’d thought they were finally past the arguments and the insults. But Keith had crossed a line. And so had he.

Now, though, regret coursed through Lance’s veins, making every waking moment a struggle. He’d hardly left his room since their argument, as most of his time was spent sleeping. He knew it was a shitty way to cope, but he couldn’t bring himself to face the others.

To face Keith.

And so he’d spent all of his time hidden away in his room, listening to music and staring at the walls. He simply didn’t have the energy to even move from his bed.

Hunk brought him food after every missed meal, not leaving until he was sure Lance had eaten enough. Pidge came by to annoy him over every little thing, and even Coran and Allura had stopped by. No one had mentioned Keith. Or Shiro, for that matter.

A dark, pessimistic part of him had to wonder if they’d ever be able to form Voltron again, even when they did finally find Shiro.

If they even found him at all.

Lance pushed the unbidden thoughts from his mind with a sigh. If he kept thinking so negatively, he’d only be a burden to the team. And he didn’t need to give Keith yet another reason to despise him.

At that moment, Pidge burst through the door, their hair a tangled mess and face pale save for the purple bruising underneath their eyes. They shot a glare in the blue paladin’s direction as they crossed their arms across their chest.

“You really need to get up and get of this room,” they said matter-of-factly. Lance sighed. It was the same thing the youngest paladin had been saying all week, and he was tired of it.

“Pidge, listen— ”

“No, _you_ listen,” they cut him off. “I know what you’re doing. I’ve known you for long enough to see through the bullshit, you know. You’re depressed. And I would never in a million years dream of invalidating that. But we need you. Hunk needs you to be there for him. I- I need you to be here…”

Their voice broke, trailing off into silence. Lance couldn’t help but sit there, stunned, for a moment. Of course, Pidge was right. He was depressed, both over the loss of Shiro and over his and Keith’s argument. But he’d been so busy dealing with his own problems that he’d forgotten the people most important to him: his friends.

“Pidge, I’m so sorry,” he apologized, reaching out with and pulling the green paladin into a hug. They relaxed into his touch, only to pull away a moment later, their nose wrinkled in disgust.

“Dude, when was the last time you showered? Don’t tell me you’ve been neglecting your skin care routine.”

Shit. They were right. He’d 100% neglected even his own hygiene routines in his depression. Not good.

“Ah, sorry bro. Let me go shower, okay?” Pidge merely nodded, plopping onto the foot of his bed and burying their nose in their tablet. Lance headed towards the bathroom, glancing back over his shoulder as he went.

_‘Thanks, Pidge.’_

 

~**~

 

Pidge practically dragged Lance from his room after he’d showered and changed into clean clothes. Not for the first time, he had to marvel at how strong the tiny paladin actually was. As they passed Keith’s room, his stomach churned with anxiety, but the red paladin made no appearance, and so they continued on their way.

At first, he thought Pidge was taking him to the control room to see Allura, but then they took a right turn and Lance found himself in the kitchen, where Hunk was baking.

“Hey, buddy,” he said shakily. Hunk started - apparently, he hadn’t noticed their entrance - and nearly dropped the pan of cookies he was holding as he gaped in their direction.

“Lance! You’re out of your room?”

“Haha, yeah…when you put it that way, it really doesn’t sound great,” Lance replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Next to him, Pidge snorted.

“Isolating yourself from everyone isn’t a good coping mechanism.”

“Hey—”

The blue paladin was cut off as he was suddenly wrapped in a bone-crushing hug. Hunk grinned broadly, although Lance could clearly see the stress and worry in his best friend’s eyes.

“Oh, man. You have no idea how worried we were,” the yellow paladin said, “I know you’ve always dealt this way, but this is such a different situation and I just—”

“Hunk,” Lance cut him off, wriggling in his friend’s arms to give himself some breathing room. “I understand. I’m…I’m sorry, man. You guys needed me here, too.” He looked away from his friends, guilt welling up in his stomach.

Lance knew that he shouldn’t blame himself; depression was a fickle thing and there was no way to really predict how it’d affect him from day to day. And, really, it wasn’t like he’d really been in the mental state to help the other paladins. But it still hurt to know that his friends had needed him and he hadn’t been there.

“It’s okay,” Pidge said gently, placing their hand on his arm. “We’re all in this together, you know. You guys are my family. So we’ll get through it.”

“Aw, did you pull that _High School Musical_ reference on purpose, Pidgey?” the blue paladin teased, though their words touched him deeply. Pidge simply scowled and punched him in the arm. Eventually, Hunk released Lance from his grip, heaving a sigh.

“So, have you seen anyone else yet?” Lance shook his head.

“Nah, you were our first stop. Though I suppose I should go see Allura and Coran now, huh?”

“Yup,” Hunk replied. “They’ll be glad to see you out and about. Everyone’s been worried.” The guilt threatened to overwhelm him once more, but Lanced pushed the ugly emotion away, instead looping his arm through his friends’ arms.

“Well, you guys lead the way,” he said with as much cheer in his voice as he could muster. Pidge rolled their eyes, but gently tugged him - now with Hunk in tow - towards the control room.

Both Coran and Allura looked up immediately, as soon as they heard the gentle ‘whoosh’ of the doors opening. Then Allura’s eyes went wide and a smile lit her features.

“Lance!” she exclaimed, almost immediately wrapping him in a tight hug. “I’m so glad to see you up!” He couldn’t help but laugh a little. At one point, he would have been on cloud nine to have the princess hugging him. But now, his mind kept wandering back to his fight with Keith.

“Sorry for worrying you,” he apologized, probably not for the last time that day. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Pidge shooting him a glare.

_‘I know, I know. You hate the compulsive apologizing. You know it’s not good for me.’_

“It’s okay, Lance,” Coran interjected, his voice kind. “Everyone copes with grief differently. And we’ve all been trying to do anything and everything we could to figure out just what happened to Shiro.” Allura hummed in agreement at this.

“It’s true,” she said. “Coran and I have been scouring the maps for any distress signals, while Pidge and Hunk worked on a way to track Shiro’s energy. We knew you needed time.”

“What about Keith?” Lance questioned, the words nearly sticking in his throat. At the mention of the red paladin’s name, the atmosphere in the room seemed to grow heavy, the tension practically tangible.

“Guys…?”

“Lance,” Allura began quietly, unable to look him in the eyes. “We…haven’t seen him all week.” The blue paladin couldn’t help but gape.

“What’s that supposed to mean?! Did he run off or something?”

“No, no!” Pidge reassured him frantically. “We know he’s in the castle. Red’s in her hangar, all of the pods are docked, and we’ve even seen him here and there on the security feed. He’s just… avoiding all of us. He hides in a different part of the castle every single time.”

The room fell silent once more, as Lance looked at everyone in disbelief. They hadn’t been able to interact with Keith all week. Had he even been eating? Sleeping? His mind raced, heart starting to pound from the adrenaline now coursing through his veins. Lance spun on his heel, making a run for the door.

“Bro, where are you going?” Hunk exclaimed. The blue paladin glanced over his shoulder.

“To find Keith, obviously.”

 

~**~

 

It had been one of the worst weeks of Keith’s life, and that was saying something.

As if Shiro’s disappearance hadn’t been bad enough on its own, then he and Lance had argued, all because of his stupid, self-destructive coping mechanisms. He’d well and truly hurt the blue paladin, to the point that he didn’t think he’d ever forgive him.

Keith knew he couldn’t forgive himself for what he’d said.

After Lance had walked out on him, he’d felt more alone than he ever had in his life. His entire world crumbling around him, the red paladin did the only things he knew how to do: run, and fight. Of course, he wouldn’t leave the castle. But he couldn’t bear to be around any of the others. Just the thought of their pitying gazes made him sick to his stomach.

And so he’d isolated himself from everyone aboard the ship.

A small part of Keith longed for his desert shack back on Earth. It was stupid, but he couldn’t stomach the thought of any of the others seeing his self-destructive tendencies. He was constantly on alert; whenever he’d hear someone approach he’d flee to another part of the castle. By this point, the red paladin was sure he knew the castle’s layout as well as Coran and Allura.

That was the funny thing about not sleeping.

Keith had always had issues with insomnia, a fact that was common knowledge to all the inhabitants of the castle. But what the others didn’t know was the true extent of how bad his insomnia was. Depending on how stressed he was at any given point in time, days would pass without him being able to sleep.

If Keith had to guess, he was nearing on the better part of a week with no sleep.

It was really starting to affect him, too. He’d been training almost nonstop - honestly, he just didn’t know what else to do with himself, and sitting still certainly wasn’t an option - but things were starting to go badly, if he were being totally honest.

Keith was normally very good about making sure he didn’t end up hurt too badly. But he couldn’t say the same for his current situation. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the fact that he’d hardly eaten anything all week. But his body was starting to betray him.

He felt sluggish. Almost as if everything were moving at a normal pace, but he was stuck in slow motion.

He watched the training bot in front of him warily, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. It had been a good two hours since he’d started the training program, and yet it felt like he’d been going all day. Keith’s muscles burned, aching in protest as he readied himself to attack once more.

_‘I have to be stronger.’_

The red paladin lunged forward, the bot meeting his hurried stab with a well-timed block. He grunted, the strength of the robot forcing him to stagger back a few steps.

_‘Not good.’_

Then, the training bot let loose its own attack, at a much quicker pace than Keith was prepared for. He made to block the attack - too slowly - and cried out in pain as the bot landed a nasty blow to his left shoulder. He dropped to his knees, free hand coming up to feel the fresh wound. His hand came away stained with blood.

The world seemed to spin around him.

Dimly, Keith was aware of ending the training simulation. His own voice sounded far away, though. Then his stomach twisted painfully, and he retched, the little bit of water he’d gulped down splattering on the floor beneath him.

Keith groaned, the cramping in his stomach intensifying as it worked to empty itself of every little thing he’d ingested. He dry heaved, curling in on himself as the pain intensified once more.

_‘Stupid, stupid! Why didn’t I think this through?!’_

“Keith?!”

Funny. He hadn’t even noticed anyone entering the room, let alone running up to him. But there was Lance - of all people - hovering in front of him, blue eyes wide with worry. The Cuban boy frowned, taking in the entire scene. If he weren’t so exhausted, Keith would have been mortified to be caught in such a vulnerable situation.

“Hey, buddy, you okay?” Once more, Lance’s concerned voice brought the red paladin out of his thoughts. He gazed up at the boy groggily, swaying in his place slightly. Then, something changed in the blue paladin, his facial expression steeling and gaze steadying.

Keith felt himself being lifted, suddenly. Lance was picking him up, taking care to avoid his injured shoulder. After a moment of wrestling with his all but dead weight, the other boy heaved a frustrated sigh and scooped him up unceremoniously.

“Okay, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Silence enveloped them for a few minutes as Lance hurried towards the medical bay, Keith literally cradled in his arms. Part of the red paladin wanted to fight, to get free and hide in some dark corner of the castle so he could just be alone, but the other part of him… he was just so _tired_.  Dimly, he realized that Lance had started to ramble nervously, at some point.

“…and to think the last time something like this happened, our situations were reversed.”

“Knew you remembered…” Keith croaked suddenly, voice harsh from the bile he’d thrown up. The blue paladin jumped, nearly dropping him in the process.

“Holy shit, don’t scare me like that!” he scolded, though the smile in his voice betrayed the stern facial expression he’d put on. Then he frowned. “Seriously, though. What the fuck, Keith. What have you done to yourself…? I just. Do I need to call for help ?”

At that, Keith started to panic. He didn’t want - couldn’t let - the others see him this way. He clutched a fistful of Lance’s jacket tightly.

“Please don’t,” he choked out, wincing at the immense effort it took to get the words out of his throat. Lance gaped at him openly for a moment before his gaze softened, and he nodded.

“Okay, okay. Just me. But I only know how to do the basics, just a heads up.”

After what seemed like forever, the pair reached the medical bay. Lance bumped the door lock with his elbow, stepping inside once the door slid open. He set Keith on the nearest examination table, then crossed his arms over his chest. Keith watched the taller boy frown, a crease forming between his brows. Then Lance sighed.

“Alright, so I need to get you cleaned up. Its sucks, but I need to get these clothes off you.”

The red paladin grimaced. His pride didn’t want to allow Lance to pull the tattered and worn clothes from his body, but if he were being honest, he simply didn’t have the energy to do it himself. It was as if all the adrenaline that had been coursing through his system all week had suddenly left.

“Fine,” he replied tersely. Lance nodded - he seemed to recognize the discomfort in Keith’s eyes - and set about helping him peel off the bloodstained shirt.

A soft gasp escaped the blue paladin’s lips, and Keith felt his face flush red. He knew he wasn’t in good shape, by any means, but even he was shocked by the image reflected to him by the mirrored walls of the medical bay.

His entire torso was riddled with nicks and bruises. Of course, there was the scar on his right shoulder from the Trials of Marmora. Interestingly enough, he’d discovered that he actually scarred purple. He could only assume it was a Galra thing, but the thin skin that stretched over the wound was a mottled shade of lavender that stood out stark against his otherwise pale skin.

The gash on Keith’s left shoulder oozed blood, throbbing painfully. Lancer immediately zeroed in on it, pinpointing his bicep as the worst injury. He pulled a clean cloth out of a drawer to his right, then soaked it in what Keith could only assume was alcohol.

“Sorry about this,” the blue paladin apologized before pressing the cloth to his bicep. Keith all but growled, the intense burn making his heart pound. Lance snorted a quiet laugh. “You really sound Galra when you do that.” The red paladin could only glare up at the Cuban boy.

After repeating the process a few times, Lance gently wrapped the wound in gauze. He made sure to tie it securely before moving on to the more minor injuries. Keith finally felt his body begin to relax, some of the tension leaving his shoulders.

 _‘I won’t even deny how much I look like shit,’_ he thought, sullen, as he took in the image of his reflection once more. He hadn’t realized just how little he’d eaten over the course of the past week, but he could clearly pinpoint each rib beneath his pale skin. Definitely not good.

“Keith? Hey, buddy?” Lance’s voice once again brought him out of his thoughts.

“Hm?”

“I asked if you wanted something to eat. Sorry, dude, but you look like shit, and you really should eat something.” The red paladin sighed. He knew the other boy was right, though he’d never risk inflating his ego by saying so.

“Yeah… probably.” At this, the blue paladin perked up. He helped Keith pull his shirt back on (Keith made a mental note to change clothes as soon as he could, that shirt was really gross). Then, Lance stopped. He frowned slightly.

“Do you want to go to the kitchen?” he asked gently. “Or would you rather me just bring something to your room?”

Keith was… touched, to say the least. “I’ll be fine,” he replied. Then he grimaced and added, “I think I’ll still need some help getting there, though.”

“I’m on it!” Lance said with a grin. He wrapped one arm around Keith’s waist, then brought the shorter boy’s arm up around his neck. “You ready to go?” Keith couldn’t help but snort a little.

“Lead the way, hotshot.”

 

~**~

 

To say that Lance was freaking out was probably the understatement of the century. He’d known that Keith was horrible at handling his emotions, but to see the true extent of how self-destructive his coping methods were… well, he was shaken, to say the least. The only thing keeping him grounded was the warmth of the shorter boy leaning heavily into his side.

They made their way to the kitchen, slowly. Thankfully, the hallways were empty, the other inhabitants of the castle most likely in their respective rooms by now. Lance could hear sounds coming from the kitchen, which he only assumed were caused by Hunk. He knew that Hunk had a stress-cooking habit, and given the past week, it made sense for him to be there.

He felt Keith stiffen beside him as they walked. He slowed his walk and turned to speak into Keith's ear.

"It's probably just Hunk. Is that okay?"

Keith nodded weakly. Lance tugged harder and managed to get him through the doors.

Hunk whipped around at the sound, his gaze immediately falling on Keith. Lance gave him a hard stare, trying to tell Hunk without words to just let it go. Hunk met his gaze, and his eyes softened. He gave the tiniest nod as Lance set Keith gently against the counter for support. Hunk busied himself with preparing a bowl of food goo for Keith, which he set on the counter beside them.

Hunk reached out and placed a gentle hand on Keith's shoulder, the recently injured one. Keith flinched from the contact. "Hey, buddy. It's good to see you again. Do you need anything?"

Keith shook his head, avoiding eye contact. Lance chewed on his lip and met Hunk's eyes, who seemed to understand.

"Alright. Well, uh, I'll just, um, leave you, then. Try to eat all that, okay?" He squeezed Keith's shoulder gently before leaving the room in a hurry. Lance waited until the door slid shut behind him to turn on Keith. He picked up the bowl of goo, already prepped with a spoon, and offered it to Keith.

"Come on, buddy. Time to eat."

"I'm not really that hungry," Keith said weakly. Lance barked a bitter laugh.

"Dude, I can count your fucking ribs. I mean, you were skinny before, but damn. No way. You need to eat. You're not leaving here until you do."

Keith reached out and took the bowl with shaking hands. "Twist my arm, why don't you..." He stared at the bowl for a few moments. Lance sighed.

"Feel weird?"

Keith nodded. Lance turned around and set about making his own bowl of goo - not as much as Keith, since he had actually eaten already. When he settled himself against the counter next to Keith, he saw that the spoon had moved, and it looked like Keith had already started eating.

"Oh, you don't actually need all that food," he said. "Hunk gave you way too much. If you try to eat all that after... well, not eating for a while, you'll just get sick. Eat, like, half of that."

Lance thought he saw a hint of smile. "Thanks."

They ate in silence for a while. By the time Lance finished his, Keith had already set the bowl aside and had started leaning against Lance for support. He only ate about a third of the bowl of goo, but Lance wasn't going to press it. They leaned on each other and just breathed.

Lance hadn't realized how much he missed seeing Keith. But seeing him like this, after their huge fight a week ago... it caused him physical pain. He took a breath to speak.

"I'm sorry -"

They had spoken at the same time. Lance turned to stare at him, but Keith was leaning his head on Lance's shoulder, as if he couldn't keep himself up anymore. Lance felt bad for making him stand.

"You go first," Keith said quietly. Lance nodded and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry about what happened last week. I, uh, said some pretty shitty things, and I shouldn't have. I was feeling some pretty strong stuff, and that's not an excuse to take it out on you. I... can't even imagine what you're going through right now. So I'm sorry." Lance kept his face turned away from Keith, even though he was pretty sure the other boy wouldn't be able to get the energy to look up anyways.

Keith seemed to inch closer. Their bodies were almost flush against each other along their sides, and Lance found himself blushing at the contact. Lance nudged Keith gently.

"Your turn, mullet boy."

Lance felt a puff of air on his shoulder. "Insults don't make me want to apologize."

"Yeah, but you can't get out of it because we spoke at the same time."

"I guess not." Keith paused. "I, uh, I'm sorry, too. For... what I said. I didn't mean it at all, I was just..."

"You're not so great at discussing feelings, Keithy-boy."

"Shut it."

The kitchen door slid open, startling them both. Lance only had time to register a green blur before he and Keith were being tackled by a small person - Pidge, wrapping their tiny arms tight around both of their waists. They pressed Lance and Keith together, forming a small group hug in which they were both unwilling participants. Hunk stood in the door, looking sheepish.

"Uh, Pidge?"

He felt their head shaking against his abdomen. Keith was looking at him in alarm. Lance gave the best shrug he could, then pulled an arm free to wrap it around Pidge.

Lance had a feeling he knew what this was. There were times after a particularly dangerous battle that Pidge would latch themselves onto someone and not let go for extended periods of time. Lance experienced it first-hand after the battle with Sendak. Pidge had sought him out that night and attached themselves onto his side, pinning him to the couch, for a good two hours. Then they released him, punched him in the arm, and left without a word.

Lance figured it was their way of saying that they were worried. He wondered vaguely how long they would hold on this time.

Hesitantly, Keith also pulled out an arm and wrapped it around Pidge, overlapping Lance's. He tried not to think too hard about that. No one spoke, not even when Hunk gently wrapped his arms around the group. They stood there for a few moments, just breathing.

After a while, Lance started shifting uncomfortably. He hadn't been around this many people in a week, and the sudden socialization was tiring him out. Hunk seemed to feel his discomfort and quickly released the group, but Pidge stayed put. The larger paladin excused himself, leaving the room in silence. Lance started rubbing small circles into Pidge's back, his hand occasionally brushing against Keith's arm.

Lance lost track of time. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Pidge's arms began to loosen around them. Lance dropped his arm to his side and let Pidge pull away. He was slightly shocked to see how red their eyes were as they pushed their glasses up.

"You're both idiots," Pidge said bluntly, before punching them lightly on the arm and walking away without another word. Keith openly stared after them.

"Yeah, that's a thing that Pidge does," Lance explained. "They just sorta attach themselves onto people when they get worried. And I guess they were pretty worried. But it's kinda weird, I expected that to last longer than it did..."

"What do you mean?" Keith's voice was scratchy from lack of use. Lance just shrugged.

"Well, after that whole thing with Sendak, they hugged me for like two hours. I just figured, after a week of being worried, they would have stayed for longer. Maybe they can tell how tired we are, though."

"Are you?"

"What, tired? Hell yeah, man. I'm sure you are, too." Lance glanced over at Keith, who was still leaning heavily on the counter. "Come on. Let's get you to bed, you look like you could use some rest."

Keith simply shrugged, but didn't fight Lance when he reached out to help him up. He arranged Keith in a similar way to how they had walked to the kitchen, with Lance looping an arm around Keith's waist and pulling the smaller paladin's good arm around his shoulders. After he was situated, Lance started to pull him out of the room.

They walked to the bedrooms in silence. Lance moved much more slowly than he normally would have, but Keith was leaning into his side more heavily than he was before. He didn't want to push the other boy too far. When they finally reached Keith's room, Lance almost released him, but Keith's arm tightened around Lance's neck. He took the hint and escorted Keith inside.

Keith dragged him down to sit next to him on the bed when Lance let him down gently. Keith's arm fell from his shoulders, resting on the bed behind him. Lance let his arm fall lamely from Keith's waist, but it stayed pinned close to him from the other boy's arm. There was a moment of awkward silence.

“Have you even slept at all in the last week?”

The words were out of Lance’s mouth before he could even process what he wanted to say. A sheepish flush heated his cheeks as the shorter boy stared at him. But, hell, what was he supposed to say? To put it bluntly, Keith looked like shit.

He’d always been pale, but now the red paladin’s skin held an ashy, sickly undertone that worried Lance more than he’d ever admit aloud. Keith’s cheeks were sunk in, and the bags under his eyes put even Pidge to shame.

“Not… really.” The quiet words startled the blue paladin out of his thoughts. Keith wasn’t meeting his gaze now, staring pointedly off to the side. Lance knew this facial expression—he’d seen it whenever Shiro chided the red paladin for being reckless.

“Not really?” Lance echoed. “Just how much sleep have you gotten?” The shorter boy shrugged. There was a brief moment of silence, then Keith sighed.

“I… have problems with insomnia. Always have. When I was little and I couldn’t sleep, I’d go stay with Shiro. More recently, I go train. And… I really haven’t slept for more than an hour or two at a time this entire week.”

Lance was flabbergasted. Maybe it was just him, but he needed at least a solid seven hours of sleep to even be able to function. He couldn’t imagine running on two hours of sleep for one day, let alone an entire week.

_‘Sleep on me, feel the rhythm in my chest—just breathe.’_

“Let me stay with you, then,” he said quietly. The red paladin looked to him in surprise.

“You said you used to stay with Shiro, right? Well… I know I’m not Shiro, but the times we’ve fallen asleep together you’ve seemed to sleep pretty well. And, let’s face it, you really need the rest.”

_‘I will stay, so the lantern in your heart won’t fade.’_

“Lance, I—” Keith cut himself off as a faint flush colored his cheeks. He looked down for a moment, staring at his hand, before looking back up to the blue paladin. “Thank you,” he said quietly.

“It’s not a problem,” Lance replied, becoming acutely aware of how his hand was still sandwiched between the other boy’s arm and his side. “We need you, man. There’s—we literally can’t do it without you, you know. You’re our right hand.”

The lame joke earned a small snort of laughter. Lance couldn’t help but grin slightly. He pulled his arm from around Keith’s small body and grasped one of his hands, instead.

“I know none of us can replace Shiro. Hell, none of us want to. But we’re here for you. We’re your family, too. And we’re gonna find him.”

_‘The secrets you tell me, I’ll take to my grave.’_

“I know we haven’t always gotten along,” Lance continued, now on a roll as the words flowed from his lips. Keith could only sit in silence, his violet eyed wide. “But I like to think that we’ve grown from it. And I swear, anything you tell me, it’s between us. I’m not that kind of douchebag.”

_‘There’s bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway.’_

Lance shifted his body, so that he sat facing the red paladin. Keith scooted back on the bed, propping himself against a pillow, though he still gripped Lance’s hand tightly. The blue paladin rushed through the rest of his speech, afraid he may chicken out if he took too long.

“And you and I both know you’ve dealt with some shit from me. You’ve seen me have a full-blown panic attack, and that’s not a pretty thing to see. So, my point is: I’m here for you. Even if you can be a massive dick at times.”

Maybe Lance was just imagining things, but Keith’s eyes looked suspiciously bright. Then, the shorter boy leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the blue paladin in a hug.

“Thank you,” he muttered, the words muffled where his face was pressed into the crook of the Cuban boy’s neck. Lance wrapped his arms around Keith’s shoulders, resting his chin on top of the other boy’s head.

_‘And if you have nightmares, we’ll dance on the bed.’_

“No problem,” he replied gently. “Now, let’s try to get some sleep.” Gently, he pulled out of the tight embrace and guided Keith back against the pillow, before stretching out beside him. For a few minutes, the two paladins shifted around, trying to get comfortable with two people in such a small bed.

Finally, they relaxed. Lance heaved a sigh, the warmth of the boy at his side quickly lulling him into a slumber. He gripped Keith’s hand as he drifted off, a single thought flitting through his mind.

_‘We’ll find Shiro, I promise.’_

~**~

 

When Keith awoke, the first thing he noticed was how warm he was.

That on its own was unusual. He’d always been cold-natured. So, waking up and being chilled was just a fact of life for him. Gradually, though, the memories of earlier came back, and the red paladin became acutely aware that the warmth came from Lance being literally curled around him.

Somehow, in his sleep, the blue paladin had managed to tangle his long, lanky legs through Keith’s own. Lance’s arms were wrapped tightly around his waist, and the taller boy’s face was buried in the crook of the red paladin’s neck. If he weren’t so tired, Keith would have been freaking out. As it, was, though, he still panicked a little.

“Lance,” he whispered, shaking the Cuban boy’s shoulder, “wake up.” This action earned him an indignant groan, and he tried desperately not to think about the warmth of the other boy’s breath on his neck. He shook Lance again, this time a little more violently. “Lance, seriously, wake the fuck up.”

“Okay, okay! Geez, I thought we were having a bonding moment,” Lance replied indignantly, rolling away and stretching his arms over his head. This action caused the hem of his shirt to ride up, giving Keith a clear view of the Cuban boy’s toned stomach.

_‘He’s going to be the fucking death of me.’_

“Keith? Keiiiiith. You okay there, buddy?” Lance’s voice brought the red paladin from his thoughts. He blinked at the other boy owlishly, having completely missed what Lance was saying.

“What?” Lance huffed, a frown tugging at his lips.

“I said, we woke up in time for dinner. And you definitely can’t afford to miss any more meals.” As if to prove his point, the blue paladin dug a finger into Keith’s ribs, causing him to yelp and flinch away.

“Quiznak! Lance, don’t do that!”

“Dude… are you ticklish?”

“No!” Keith denied, but it was too late. The other boy was already laughing, tears forming in the corners of his brilliant blue eyes as he clutched his sides. The red paladin’s face burned, a pout tugging at his lips. After what seemed like forever, Lance’s laughter quieted.

“Oh, man, this is too good!” he chuckled, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Keith Kogane, ticklish! Who would have thought!”

“Okay, it’s time to go eat. Let’s go,” Keith grumbled, pulling the taller boy off the bed and practically dragging him to the door. Lance only snickered and let him lead the way.

Dinner was… awkward, to say the least.

Not only did Keith feel incredibly guilty for how he’d avoided literally everyone in the castle for a week straight, the air of grief that hung over them all had his skin crawling. Everyone but Lance, ironically enough, seemed to be on edge around him. Keith caught Hunk sending him furtive glances every few seconds, and Pidge sat silently on Keith’s left side. Their leg occasionally brushed Keith’s knee. Allura and Coran seemed to be the most put-together, but even they gave off the air that they didn’t quite know how to handle Keith’s sudden reappearance.

By the time he and Lance made it back to his bedroom, Keith was practically buzzing with tense energy. Lance heaved a sigh and plopped down on the small bed, reclining back against the pillows as if it were his own.

“Man, I’m stuffed,” the blue paladin said lazily. He glanced up at Keith, arching an eyebrow. “You okay, dude? You’re awfully broody, and that’s saying something for you.” The red paladin sighed and gingerly sat on the edge of the bed. A tense silence hung in the air for a moment, before he finally spat out the words that had weighed on him all evening.

“I’m sorry.”

“Uh, what for?” A frustrated growl escaped the shorter boy’s lips. Of course, this couldn’t go easily for him.

“For what I said. After… after Shiro disappeared,” he mumbled in response. If possible, Lance’s eyebrows arched even higher.

“Oh. Uh, well you already apologized,” the blue paladin replied. Keith shook his head in response.

“Not well enough. You… didn’t deserve to be treated the way I treated you. You were only trying to help and I acted like a complete ass.”

By this point, the red paladin’s heart was racing. He wasn’t good with words, never had been. But he felt this almost compulsive need to apologize for the way he’d acted. The entire time, Lance had remained silent, his eyes wide. Once silence overtook them though, he was speaking rapidly, so quickly that Keith had a hard time keeping up with what he was saying.

“It’s fine, seriously. I mean. It’s not like I didn’t already know that you’re an ass. Sorry, dude, but your people skills suck. And you kind of had a right to be in a bad mood, y’know?”

Lance kept going. Keith’s thought process was completely overloaded. As if his own scattered thoughts weren’t bad enough, Lance’s nervous rambling practically made him short circuit. There was no way he could gather his thoughts with the Cuban boy constantly chattering. He needed quiet, a moment to think—

_‘Kiss my lips, feel the rhythm of my heart and hips.’_

The next thing Keith was aware of were soft lips meeting his own. He’d leaned forward, across Lance’s legs and pressed his mouth to the other boy’s.

Needless to say, it effectively shut Lance up.

After a moment, Keith pulled away, crossing his arms over his chest and huffing indignantly.

“Can you just shut up for a moment so I can think?!” he grumbled. Sure enough, silence overtook them, the air heavy. Then, the realization of what he’d just done hit him like a ton of bricks.

_‘Wait. Fuck, no!’_

“Shit, Lance, I’m so sorry,” the red paladin said frantically, panic causing his voice to tremble. “I don’t know what I was thinking, I didn’t mean to—”

“Keith, chill, it’s fine.” The blue paladin’s words cut him off, followed by the warmth of Lance’s hands gently gripping his shoulders. “I mean, don’t get me wrong—you definitely surprised me! But it’s all good.”

“Wait. What?” he deadpanned, openly gaping at this point. Lance seemed to shift uncomfortably under his gaze, a faint blush coloring his tan cheeks.

“Well, uh, here’s the thing. So I may or may not have liked you for a while now? Like. Like-liked you, ya know? I mean, yeah, you aren’t the easiest person to get along with, but holy shit. You’re the most amazing pilot I’ve ever met. And I’ve never seen anyone fight like you. Even if you don’t realize it, you help bring us together. Despite being an impulsive shit, of course. And… you’re just really kind of out of my league, haha. So you just caught me off guard, that’s all.”

It was Keith’s turn to be flabbergasted. For a moment, all he could do was gape at the other boy while he collected his thoughts. Finally, though, he managed to get his voice back in working order.

“Okay. First off. I’ve had a crush on you forever. Like, since the Garrision. Secondly, that’s the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard.”

“Wait, what the hell—”

“There’s no way I’m ‘out of your league’ or whatever that shit you said was,” the red paladin cut Lance off, not allowing him to get a word in edgewise. He felt almost angry. “You’re amazing with other people. If you weren’t such a massive flirt, your diplomatic skills would rival Allura’s, and that’s saying something. You never fail to make Pidge and Hunk feel better when they’re down. And you’ve got the best shot of anyone I’ve ever seen. Shiro was right when he called you our sharpshooter.” He took a steadying breath. “And here you are, helping me and taking care of me, when you should probably hate me for what I said to you before. So, if anything, _you’re_ out of _my_ league, because you are way too fucking nice for me.”

If it were possible for someone to have stars in their eyes, Keith swore Lance would have in that moment. The way he looked at him made the shorter boy’s skin warm and his heart pound in his chest. The silence that followed their confessions was heavy, but not in an uncomfortable way.

_‘I will pray, so that castle that we’ve built won’t cave.’_

“Hey, Keith?” When he spoke, Lance’s voice was quiet, uncharacteristically subdued. The red paladin hummed in response.

“Can… can I kiss you?”

 _‘If I’m dreaming, I hope I never wake up.’_ All he could manage was a nod, the words stuck in his throat and face burning as red as his jacket. Slowly - so slowly - the blue paladin leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Keith’s.

Almost instinctively, the red paladin balled his fists into the fabric of the other boy’s jacket, pulling him in closer. Lance hummed in response, and Keith could have sworn he felt his lips curl up in a smirk. Lance tilted his head, and he pushed back against Keith, making the smaller boy dizzy. Finally, after what simultaneously felt like forever and no time at all, they broke apart.

“Well… that was a thing,” Keith said lamely, slightly breathless. The blue paladin snorted, a grin plastered across his face.

“You’re an idiot,” he said, laughter making his voice shake. Then, Lance leaned forward, letting his forehead rest against the red paladin’s. “But so am I. So I guess that’s okay.”

_‘I know that you love me, love me, even when I lose my head.’_

A small smile found its way to Keith’s lips. He looked down at their intertwined hands - when had that happened? - then back to the taller boy. Suddenly, he yawned, surprising himself and making Lance laugh once more.

“Okay, so it’s definitely time for you to sleep,” Lance said, trying his hardest not to laugh. He gently pushed Keith back, forcing him to recline against the pillows. Keith allowed it, honestly too tired to resist.

“Lance?”

“Hm?”

“Will you stay?” he asked, embarrassed at how red he knew his face was. But he just couldn’t bear the thought of being alone again. He’d had enough of that over the past week. The blue paladin’s gaze softened, and he nodded.

“Yeah, it’s no problem,” he replied gently, leaning back and wrapping his long arms around the shorter boy. Keith sighed, closing his eyes, and let sleep take him.

_‘Even when I lose my edge, Guillotine.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song(s) used in this chapter:
> 
> "Guillotine" -Jon Bellion


End file.
